Wow. When Did You get the CD Player, Wayne? When We got the Money.

TODAY IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!

Hello friends, welcome back to "Webby Files."

When I woke up this morning (at 3:50am) and headed for the shower before jumping on the Eisenhower Expressway (which begins major construction today that will reportedly last for two years [we ALL know that it will be at least a five year project]), and headed downtown for work, I had no idea that today of all days would be the greatest day of my life.

When I got on the computer and pulled up the funds (lack there of) from my checking account and entered an immediate state of depression from the result, I had no idea that this morning of all mornings would be the greatest day of my life.

When I thought about how shitty my week had been due to my car getting "booted", thus having to borrow money from my mom to pay over $1,000 in past-due parking tickets in order to get my vehicle back and all of the shame and anguish that goes into a situation like that, I had no idea that this Good Friday Eve would be the best Good Friday Eve that I'd ever experienced in my entire life.

When I opened up my newspaper and continued to read about how the Pope and a number of Bishops throughout the Catholic Church CONTINUE to cover up incidents of child molestation and pedophilia among their Priests and aren't being crucified to the same extent as say...I don't know, Tiger Woods in the public eye, I was completely unaware that today would be the greatest day of my 26 1/2 years on this planet.

When I was stumbling and bumbling through my first sports/weather/traffic report on the radio show that I work on because my Dunkin Donuts coffee didn't seem to "take" to my brain at 6:00am today the way that it does on a normal day, I was oblivious to the fact that this Thursday morning (today) would turn into the GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!

Well, it did.

Wanna know what happened?...

Cool.

My show (job) ends at 7:00am every day. I'll usually work on some stuff (surf the web) until 9:30am or so (when rush hour clears) and then I'll pack up and head home for a day of playing guitar, cleaning the apartment, drinking greyhounds and keeping my cat awake (miserable) for my own amusement until my girlfriend comes home from school/work. It's a routine that I'm not necessarily proud of, but that I generally conform to on a regular basis none the less. Anyway, today I was hungry so at about 7:30am this morning, I headed down to the Billy Goat Tavern for one of their delicious Denver omelets. If you thought that "The Goat" was only good for cheap beer and burgers, I'm telling you, check out their breakfast menu. It's pretty baa-aa-aa-aad ass (I know that was easy...). After I got my omelet to go, I walked to the 7/11 for a Cherry 7up to wash it down. While waiting in a line (that seemed to move at a similar rate as road construction in the city of Chicago) I noticed a slot machine type of game on the counter where I was standing. Seeing that this line wasn't moving very fast, I pushed a dollar in and pressed the "Spin" button with little enthusiasm.

CHERRY - CHERRY - CHERRY

Now I don't know much about slot machines (or gambling in general outside of poker), but even I knew that CHERRY - CHERRY - CHERRY was a good thing. I figured that maybe I had just payed for my breakfast and pop, and to me...that was pretty sweet.

Immediately after the consecutive "cherry's" landed, the screen started flashing and a siren went off on top of it. Let's just say that this game was going to pay for quite a few "Goat Omelets" and Cherry 7up's.

TODAY, AT 7:43AM I WON $10,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My stomach dropped into my Chuck Taylor's and I began shaking all over. I didn't scream like a girl or anything, but I grabbed my $10,000 ticket that printed out, and showed it to the clerk. Due to the flashing screen and siren, everyone in the 7/11 took notice of what was going on and began congratulating me. It was awesome. Apparently the Illinois Lottery offices are only about eight blocks from where I work (and where I was), so we called the number on the back and they sent a representative over within 20 minutes. After taxes and fees, they presented me with a check for $8,894.00 and took my picture (which is now on the front of the 7/11's cash register). I'm still in shock (and still shaking as I type this blog).

The great thing about this is that (like many people in our current economic climate) I desperately needed that money. Not only do I need to pay my mom back for her help with my car situation, I have certain debts and bills that this will help cover and for that I couldn't be more excited and grateful. Will I be able to go out and buy a new car? No. Will I update my wardrobe or take my girlfriend on an exotic vacation? Probably not (sorry honey). Is this a down payment for the downtown condo that I've always wanted? Very unlikely. But hey, I'm now able to catch up with all of the debts I accrued while unemployed, and that's good enough for me, you know?

Anyway, I hope your April gets off to as good of a start as mine has. Who knows...maybe this is a good sign for my beloved Cubs...probably not. I guess I'll just have to appreciate one miracle at a time.

Oh...by the way...speaking of April getting off to a good start...

APRIL FOOL'S BITCHES!!!