Back in '82, I used to be able to Throw a Pigskin a Quarter Mile.

Hello friends. I received a lot of interesting responses from yesterday's entry about the "overrated-ness" of many things in our culture, and as I expected, many AGREED with a good portion of my list (man, what a bunch of cynics!) Thanks to all of you that checked that out.

My girlfriend is back from her eight day vacation in Seattle and from the sound of it, Seattle wasn't quite as impressive as she was led to believe. I myself have never been there, but she was surprised at how dirty the place was and at the volume of homeless people that frequent the downtown area. She loved the surrounding nature outside of the city, and enjoyed the mountains and water, but said that Seattle itself left very little to be desired. I guess that I'm really not that surprised with this assessment. I think that those of us who live in Chicago really take it for granted. Yes, there's NO DOUBT that Chicago has MANY problems of its own, but when it's all said and done Chicago's probably the cleanest big city in the United States.

So I'll be playing my first show as "The Skyfall" this weekend (and my first show since 2004 altogether). I'm playing in Springville, IA (right outside of Iowa City) on Saturday night. I'm pretty excited to get back on stage so to speak, as it's a MAJOR passion of mine. I think that my lack of performing has actually been a little bit of a void in my live over the past few years. It will be good to knock some of the rust off and to get a little bit of "live" feedback from people that have never heard/seen me before. I don't think that I'm really nervous at all, just excited. I need that rush in my life.

I don't know if everyone has this inside of them (maybe we all do, maybe not), but I absolutely have to feel that rush of performing in front of (or for) other people in some capacity. I love playing music, I love doing radio, I even find myself loving this stupid little blog. There's just something about pouring all of your thoughts/ideas/talents (or lack there of) out for others to enjoy/critique/etc. Is this just vanity? Is it just the fact that some of us (me) are douchey enough that we HAVE to be the center of attention and have ALL eyes on us? I'm not sure. I HOPE that that's not what it is. I actually don't really like to be the center of attention in day to day life. I don't really like talking to anyone for that matter, unless I know them. I'd much rather just kind of blend in and let the game come to me in most social situations, but in an "entertainment setting" (stage/radio studio/blogosphere), I truly believe that I'm completely in my element and love feeling that rush that comes with doing something in front of/for other people.

I have always been this way, but at the same time, I wouldn't have been caught dead being involved in anything when I was in High School. I had absolutely ZERO interest in performing in plays/chorus/musicals or anything like that. I did nothing in radio/TV/photography as well, and I guess that my reasoning behind avoiding all of these extra-curricular activities was that I felt that I was "too cool" for any of this stuff. Now I've already mentioned in the past about how I feel that "coolness" is EXTREMELY underrated, but don't you ever wish that you could go back to High School knowing everything that you know now? What an advantage that would be...and on the same token, how stupid/naive were we in High School? Good Lord. I can't even believe how ignorant my views were on the world back then (some would argue that very little has changed).

If I had a second chance, I think that I would approach my view of High School on a completely different level (I know that I probably sound like "Uncle Rico" right now). I would spend ZERO time worrying about my teachers thoughts on: my grades/my attitude/my future/etc. (ALL NON-important issues when you're still in High School), and focus on at least trying every single thing that I even had a remote amount of interest in. I mean, what the hell...right? I'd run for Class President, I'd vie for the starring role in the school play, I'd be a columnist in the school newspaper...I'd even sing in the choir...well, let's not get carried away. Like I said, "coolness" is VERY underrated.

I doubt that I'll be able to type you an entry tomorrow, but I should be back on Monday. Tell a friend about "Webby Files" will ya? Let's make this world a better place one reader at a time (this may have actually been my douchiest entry of them all).

Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "The River's Edge" by The Gaslight Anthem. Drinks of Choice: Smithwick's.

Your Pal,
Webby

Stepped out the House, Stopped Short, Oh no! I went back in, I Forgot my Indo!

Hey, hey. Baseball season officially ended for me last night. The Cubs were pummeled by the Nats at Wrigley and the White Sox are not doing anything close to what all of my Sox fan friends told me that they would do (win series' at Boston and New York...you know, because they beat the good teams and lose to the bad ones). I guess for me that it's officially Cutler time.

Now baseball has been my favorite sport pretty much my entire life, so it really hurts me to say that I'm looking forward to football when we're still in August, but hey, maybe if Sam Zell didn't hold this team hostage for the last ten months, I'd be singing a different tune. Instead I'm just singing "Let's go Bears." (and to think that I was actually GETTING USED TO making the playoffs every season). Too bad.

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and our conversation gave me an idea for a "Webby Files" topic to share with you. We were discussing how it seems that there are a ton of things out there that we're all basically told that we're supposed to like. We hear about these things in a positive light so often that they just get engraved into your mind to the point where opinion essentially becomes fact, and you just blindly fall in line and agree with everyone else by liking this stuff as well. Whether you're talking about movies/music/food/activities/etc., there are so many things out there where it's basically just "assumed" that everyone likes them, and feels as strongly about liking them as everyone else. Let's UN-blur that line between someone else's opinion and the facts.

Now obviously these are MY opinions, so please feel free to disagree with me at any time...but I guarantee you that you'll agree with a lot of these even if you didn't realize that you would. Here we go...

"Caddyshack" -No matter who is making the list of the top sports movies of all time, "Caddyshack" will AT LEAST be in the top three (usually numero uno). Maybe I just don't get it, but this movie isn't even remotely funny. I'm a big Chevy Chase fan, I don't mind Rodney Dangerfield and I certainly don't mind Bill Murray...but this movie sucks. Don't say that too loud though, you will be attacked by killer meatballs.

Speaking of overrated movies from that era...

"The Blues Brothers" -Now I really pissed you off didn't I?...but be honest, if that movie came out today, you wouldn't like it. It's a musical for God sakes!!! For some reason it is engraved into Chicago culture as a movie that everyone (young and old) has to love...but guess what? I'm ending the love affair. It's a bad movie, and while we're at it, I don't understand the love for John Belushi either. He is an absolute LEGEND, yet he's never made me laugh one time. Throw ol' Johnny on the list as well.

"Nirvana" -But Matt, they changed the face of music back in the early nineties!!!" That's a bunch of B.S. There was PLENTY of great music in the 80's and early 90's. The problem was that the airwaves were hijacked by grunge from Seattle. If Kurt Cobain didn't kill himself, we wouldn't even be talking about Nirvana. I'm glad that he did though, by him pulling the trigger it helped create the "Foo Fighters." Thanks Kurt.

"Sushi" -I don't mind the raw fish (I'm actually quite fond of sashimi), but the fact that sushi is so much of a trend right now that in the city of Chicago there are 8 sushi restaurants with in a four block radius anywhere on the North side completely disgusts me! Sushi rolls are gross. They're essentially raw fish (which is pretty good) covered in mayonnaise (which is disgusting) and then wrapped with seaweed and rice. Yet they feel that it is reasonable to charge an arm and a leg when you'll immediately have to grab a slice of pizza after your meal just to feel some semblance of being full. Ridiculous.

"Family Guy" -Not funny. South Park made fun of this show best. You can't base an entire show on plugging in random flashbacks as your only jokes. It sucks. Yet, for some reason people can't get enough of this cartoon and it's spin offs ("American Dad" and "Cleveland").

"Bar Sing Along Songs" -There are very few more annoying things then when you're at a bar and any one of the following songs comes on: "Livin' on a Prayer", "Sweet Caroline", "Don't Stop Believing", "Take me Home Tonight", "Sweet Home Alabama", "Brown Eyed Girl", "Paradise City", etc., etc. It's frat boy and drunk girl sing along time. I will actually get up and leave an establishment when one of these songs comes on and the entire bar starts singing. These are bad songs by themselves, please don't throw gasoline on the fire.

"Snoop Dogg" -Didn't see this one coming did you? Don't get me wrong, Snoop was a legend back in the early nineties, but guess what? It's 2009, and in my opinion that honeymoon has finally wore off. S-N-double O-P needs to G-O A to the Way. Sorry Dogg Pound Gangstas, I'm not just going to love someone because everyone else does.

How about another unpopular choice...

"Al Pacino" -Yes, every one's FAVORITE actor of all time. I used to love Al Pacino. The "Godfather" movies, "Dog Day Afternoon", "Scent of a Woman"...all great movies. My problem with Pacino is "Where the hell have you been since 1992?!!!" The way I see it, ol' Al has been Mr. Irrelevant going on 18 years. "Heat" was solid, but how about these great releases: "Two Bits", "City Hall", "The Insider", "Any Given Sunday" (Oliver Stone sucks too), "Chinese Coffee", "Insomnia", "People I know", "The Recruit", "Gigli", "The Merchant of Venice", "Two for the Money", "88 Minutes", my God!!! Bad, bad, bad. I recently saw his movie that he did with Robert DeNiro last year called "Righteous Kill." This movie was so unimaginably terrible, that I actually felt sorry for the guy. Did you ever think that you would feel sorry for Michael Corleone? I didn't either. BTW...you can put "Scarface" on the list as well. One of the most overrated movies that I've ever seen (Sorry EVERY rap artist).

"Parades" -Why do people like parades? It's like what comedian Daniel Tosh said, "After you go to a parade you must immediately wash the gay off of you." Hundreds of thousands of people go to Thanksgiving Day parades and St. Patrick's Day parades, and millions more watch this crap on TV. It's people walking in a line, or riding on floats down the middle of the street. It's usually cold outside, and you just stand there and watch. I'd like to meet the individual that started this rumor (that parades are actually fun and everyone should stand on the sidewalks and watch them go by). He/She could probably convince you to do anything!

"UFC/MMA" -This is the absolute HOTTEST thing going right now...and I couldn't be more disinterested. Call me a prude if you must, but I don't really understand the enjoyment that people feel in watching two steroid-induced mongoloids beat the living daylights out of each other. I find it boring, and I find the fans to be just a slight step above NASCAR fans (except you Tim). I CAN'T WAIT for this little trend to go away (and it will).

There are MANY more of these people/movies/activities/etc. that everyone seems to love for some reason. I think that if we all just opened our eyes to how ridiculous a lot of it is, this world would be a MUCH more interesting place to live in. That's all I'm sayin'...

Honorable Mention:
Led Zeppelin
Will Ferrell
Judd Apatow movies
AC/DC
Harry Potter books/Lord of the Rings movies (one in the same)
Joe Namath
Entourage
Twitter
Christmas
Lollapalooza
Yankees vs. Red Sox
The Beach
The Daily Show
Wilco
Dane Cook
Navy Pier
...and so many more.

Let me know what YOU would add to your most overrated things out there. Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. While you're at it, you can check out my music at www.myspace.com/theskyfall. Right now I'm listening to Johnny Cash's cover of Bruce Springsteen's "I'm on Fire." Drinks of Choice: semi-warm coffee.

Peace the F.
Webby

You want a Toe? I can get you a Toe, Believe Me. There are Ways Dude. Hell, I can get You a Toe by 3 O'clock this Afternoon...with Nail Polish.

Friends, good morning. It's a beautiful summer day in Chicago and I'm enjoying my coffee as if I was Walter Sobchak sitting at a diner after I was nearly thrown out. (Sigh), I love "The Big Lebowski." On a serious note...what an amazing thing coffee is. It's no doubt an acquired taste (I don't know anyone under the age of 16 that enjoys it), but once you've worked your first forty-hour week, you pretty much can't live without those ground down coffee beans and hot water. Thank you great nation of Columbia. Delicious.

So did you hear that Michael Jackson was actually murdered? I guess you could call it that. Yes, it sounds like his personal physician was pumping him full of different prescriptions, and yes, that violates his patient/doctor responsibilities, but I'd hardly call this a "tragedy." If my doctor gave me a laundry list of pills to take when I wasn't actually sick, I may consider questioning his intentions, and I'd probably end up seeking a second opinion. That's just me. If I'm rich/famous/powerful, I'm not going to blindly swallow an infinite amount of capsules just because some doctor prescribed them to me. You've gotta keep your head on a swivel these days. If you have money, someone else is trying to get it from you. That's just the way it is. These are the ONLY situations where it's advantageous to be broke like me. Nobody EVER leaches on to the guy with shallow pockets. It's bad business.

As far as being addicted to prescription drugs goes...I'm sorry. I have very little sympathy for you. Did you ever think that maybe the prescription drugs that you pop everyday could possibly be even worse for you than whatever it is that is causing your pain in the first place? My philosophy on drugs (prescription or non-prescription)/vitamins/chiropractors/etc., is this: The human body is a pretty powerful/wonderful thing, if you let your body NATURALLY fight off infection/illness/pain/etc., not only will it generally succeed, but it will create an even stronger immunity to whatever was harming you for the future. Obviously, there are serious diseases/injuries/etc., that need immediate medical attention. Your body can't just heal cancer on its own, but I'm willing to bet that a VERY high percentage of people that take antibiotics or even Tylenol everyday, take it for NON-serious issues.

There are simple observations that I have made throughout my limited time on this planet that have led me to these conclusions. For example: Have you ever met ANYONE that has only gone to the chiropractor ONCE? I haven't. People talk about how their back felt "out of place," so they went to the chiropractor and had them re-adjust their entire spine. Immediately, they felt relief. Cool. The problem is that two weeks later, their back felt even more out of place so of course, they had to go back. Now Mr. chiropractor has you hooked like a drug dealer would. He's the ONLY one who can give you that "relief" that you're looking for, but guess what? It only lasts for so long, so naturally you'll have to come back and pay more money for your fix. I'm on to you chiropractors.

How about people that constantly go to the doctor for every little thing, or those who take a couple of aspirin everyday for their constant headaches? What is that busy doctor going to give you when you come in? Not attention, we know that. These are busy dudes. Since he can't give you the proper attention that you deserve, he's simply just going to look up in his little medical book whatever drug that applies to your particular issue, and scribble out a prescription. All this drug will do is cover up the pain until the next time. Then you'll be right back to see Dr. Howser.

My favorite are the commercials for all of those prescription drugs out there. "Do you have "restless leg syndrome?" If so, don't deal with that embarrassing shaking leg anymore! Just take two of these Zykillacon's per day, and you'll be as still as a portrait...side effects include: runny nose, migraines, syphilis, dysentery, AIDS, the black plague..." People don't actually buy these do they? I guess they must. Somebody is paying for all of that advertising.

Look, I'm no health care expert. Hell, I'm not really an expert on ANYTHING! I just know that the human body is pretty amazing. When you feel pain in a certain area, it's generally just your body telling you that you're doing something harmful to it. Instead of covering up those warning signs that your body is giving you by taking prescription drugs, why don't you just change up your daily routine? If your back hurts, there's a logical reason for it. Maybe your bodily structure is not built to carry 320 LBS? Instead of running to the chiropractor and/or taking pain medication everyday, why don't you lose some weight? I guarantee you that your back will thank you. What's that you say? You're NOT overweight but you still have back pain? OK. My guess would be that your body is telling you that it's time to quit your job as a concrete worker. I know that this is not always logical, but guess what? You only have one body. Would you rather look into possibly working in a different aspect of your company that doesn't require as much physical labor, or be a hunch back in a wheel chair during your twilight years? It's your decision I guess. I plan on being a pain in the ass when I'm old and retired. Hard to do that when you can't even stand up.

There's almost always an explanation for everything. If you have constant headaches, don't take aspirin everyday to mask the pain, consider cutting caffeine out of your diet (I'm saying this as I'm pounding my second cup of coffee this morning...but hey, I haven't had a non-alcohol related headache in my entire life). If you need more vitamin A,B,C or D in your diet, don't pop over-the-counter vitamins. Get out in the sun, eat fresh fruits and vegetables and get your nutrients NATURALLY. Not only does this stuff taste a MILLION times better than the processed junk that most Americans consume, it's better for you as well. And my favorite...if you have a restless leg that is annoying in public situations, and even prevents you or your spouse from sleeping...guess what your leg is telling you? Get off of your ass and run!!! If you're not pounding energy drinks everyday, and you get out and play some basketball or run on the treadmill, you'll be amazed at how quickly that restless leg goes away. There's no such thing as A.D.D. Hell, I have a short attention span when I'm doing something that I'm not interested in. Parents who pump their kids full of pills for being hyper or non-attentive should be PUT IN JAIL. Your kid doesn't need Ritalin, he needs a better teacher, a decaffeinated diet, and less video games/more sports and outdoor activities! It's that simple.

These issues are something that I feel very strongly about. Next time that you're popping a Tylenol for pain in your wrist, or going to the chiropractor, or considering methods to calm down your hyper child, please think of Michael Jackson or Rush Limbaugh or even Brett Favre. Hell, think of every time someone makes you mad by "half-assing" something to get results. Remember, sweeping things under the rug NEVER makes your house clean. Get the vacuum cleaner out, and stop being so lazy.

Wow. I'm like Dr. Phil (except not overweight, Texan, or an assclown...my opinion I guess).

Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to a little Ben E. King. Yes. Drinks of Choice: the gourmet shit that Jimmie bought because when he drinks it, he wants to taste it.

Cheers,
Webby

If You ever wanna Eat a Sauerkraut Sandwich again take Your Wiener Schnitzel Lickin' Finger and Point out on this Map what I wanna Know.

Hello friends. I hope that you had a good weekend. My weekend consisted of watching a movie and exercising more in two days than I probably have in the last two months combined. T'was a good couple of days for me.

As far as the exercising went, I'm not big into lifting weights, jogging (or is it yogging?), or any kind of calisthenics for that matter. I find going to the gym to be about as boring as any activity that there is out there. I seem to get very little out of it, and I absolutely dread the idea of consistently doing these activities multiple times per week. That being said, I'm getting to the age where if I decide to not do anything active at all for long periods of time, I'll slowly (but surely) turn into a lard ass. Probably not the greatest idea (you know, if you're into the whole dating members of the opposite sex thing, and living past the age of 50). So I guess that you just have to find alternative methods of getting your exercise. For me...sports.

I played about 10 games of basketball this weekend, 3 games of softball and I swam a bit as well. It felt good to be active, and I'm hoping that my shot slowly begins to come back on the court, because my outside shooting performance was pretty embarrassing out there. Hopefully it's like riding a bike, because I shot about 20% from outside, when I used to be a fairly consistent shooter as a youngster. We'll see. Hopefully basketball is not like golf where the more you practice, the worse you get (maybe that's just me?)

For as fun as playing softball under the lights or getting a bunch of hoops in over the weekend was for me, seeing Quentin Tarantino's new movie "Inglourious Basterds" absolutely took the cake. Wow. What a masterpiece. It's very rare that I go into something with the kind of expectations that I had and walk away completely satisfied like I did on Friday night. For me, it was one of those movies that I wanted to see again immediately after leaving the theater. I ended up going to this as kind of a "man-date" with four of my buddies (never cool under ANY circumstance, true...BUT, "Inglourious Basterds" probably isn't the type of movie that you take your girlfriend to either). Anyway, when we left the theater, three of us loved the movie (me included), one of us fell asleep but said that he liked what he saw (I'll give him a pass because the movie didn't start until 1AM, and it was a long one), and the other one of us said that he "didn't understand the message that Tarantino was trying to send." This last comment pissed me off.

The next day I still had the movie fresh on my mind and when I saw one of my buddies that had seen it as well, we were reciting our favorite lines and putting the movie up on the pedestal that it so richly deserves. He then told me that a Jewish friend of ours said that he will NOT see the movie because "He simply doesn't watch "Jewish Fantasies." What!!! Now I'm finding myself being really disgusted with some of the people that I know.

Don't get me wrong...everyone has the right to their opinion. If you don't like something, that's fine. I'm not going to judge you for it. We all have different tastes and that's what makes this world of ours so interesting at times. Not everyone is the exact same. My problem is simply this: For example...if you watched "Inglourious Basterds" and then told me that you just really didn't like the movie...cool. I'm not going to agree with you, but hey...that's your opinion. I can live with that. Not everyone likes everything that I like, and that's fine. Just don't tell me, "I won't even give it a chance because I don't watch Jewish Fantasies." By saying that, you're an idiot. First of all, this is NOT a "Jewish Fantasy" (You wouldn't know that, because you HAVEN'T seen it!) But even if it was, why would you deprive yourself of the possibility of enjoying something just to live by your stupid ideals that are meaningless and serve absolutely NO purpose? It's idiotic.

A good example of this is the fact that I don't like tomatoes. I don't. I think that tomatoes are disgusting. A lot of people would disagree with me, but that's my opinion. What if I was like the asshole that didn't like "Jewish Fantasies" and said something like "Since I don't like tomatoes, then I'm NOT going to ever try pizza?" First of all, I'd be an idiot (not unlike our "Jewish Fantasy Hater") but I'd also not knowingly deprive myself of my favorite food, simply because I was trying to impress you by being some sort of righteous individual when in reality, I'm just being a moron. For some reason everyone has to be "Mr. Contrarian" to everything these days instead of actually giving something a chance and then giving an INFORMED opinion about the matter. It's stupid, and it's completely backwards.

I mentioned earlier that one of my friends that saw the movie with me said that he "Just didn't understand the message that Tarantino was trying to send." This is ALMOST as stupid as the "I don't watch Jewish Fantasies" comment. Who cares what Tarantino's message was!!! This isn't the "Cosby show." You shouldn't need a message and you shouldn't need everything to be wrapped up into a bow either. It's a MOVIE. It's made to entertain us. Watch the movie, and then either love it, hate it, or consider it to be average and then move on with your day. Good God. Let's stop trying to be "Captain Philosopher" and start enjoying our lives a little bit.

I know that 99% of the people that saw "Inglourious Basterds" will, even though it was just a stupid "Jewish Fantasy." Moron.

Hit me up on facebook. www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Having a Party" by Sam Cooke. You probably love this song unless you won't listen to "party fantasies from the early sixties." Drinks of Choice: vodka lemonades to refresh my mind until this evening.

Peace the F.
Webby

I will Strike Down upon Thee with Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, and You will know My Name is the Lord when I Lay My Vengeance upon Thee!

Hey, hey. The Cubs won a ball game last night! Yay!!! They improved their record to (1-5) at San Diego this year (a last place team that traded away their top pitcher, while their second best pitcher, Chris Young, is out for the season due to injury). The White Sox came back after losing game 2 to the Royals (they probably should have lost game 1 as well to this particular last place team) and won yesterday at The Cell, taking two out of three in the series. So at least our two under-achieving baseball teams were on the winning side of the equation together for one day. We shall see if that continues tonight. My guess...it won't.

Don't you just love it when people act surprised about something negative that happens to someone who has a "checkered past" when EVERYONE knew that it was going to happen at some point simply because of that person's track record? There are many examples of this. I'm reading today that the Memphis college basketball team will have it's 38 win season and Final Four berth back in 2007-08 erased from the record books due to NCAA violations (Derrick Rose). Not only are the people of Memphis devastated/shocked with this news, the people of Kentucky, who just hired Coach Calipari, are scratching their heads as well. What??? You knew that that man was cheating at Memphis, but you sold your soul anyway and now you're going to have to deal with it! Not only did you know (University of Kentucky), the University of Memphis knew exactly what they were dealing with as well. You all remember Coach Cal's UMass team back in 1996 led by All-American Marcus Camby don't you? Their Final Four run has been erased from the record books as well (let's be honest, we ALL knew something was up when under any circumstance you can convince the top high school recruit in the country to come to the University of Massachusetts...not Duke, UNC, UCLA, UConn, etc....but UMass). I can't wait for the first round of sanctions that come down on the Wildcats. My guess, within three seasons. It's going to be great.

How about the Milton Bradley signing? I know that the subject has been beaten to death, but again...EVERYONE knew that this was a bad signing. EVERYONE knew that this guy was a bad teammate, and came with a ton of baggage. We also knew that he was coming off of a career year that would be extremely unlikely for him to duplicate, but instead of taking all of these facts into consideration and pursuing other avenues (Ibanez, Dunn, Abreu), Bradley's entire track record was completely IGNORED by Jim Hendry. Don't you dare tell me that we're losing because of the fact that some of our players (Milton Bradley) just aren't putting up the type of numbers that they were expected to put up. Just deal with your powerless .260 hitting right fielder who happens to make $10 million a season for the next three years just like the rest of us have to. We ALL saw this coming, where were you? Wow.

How about this example: Have you ever seen the show "Jon and Kate Plus 8?" If you haven't, you're not missing anything. The problem for me is that it happens to be my girlfriend's favorite show. Which basically means that it's my favorite show (even though I hate it...it's constantly on). It's kind of like what "Jules" says in "Pulp Fiction": "You ever tried a "Big Kahuna" burger? If you like burgers, give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegetarian which pretty much makes me...a vegetarian." Well, my girlfriend loves "Jon and Kate Plus 8" which pretty much makes me love "Jon and Kate Plus 8." Anyway, 'ol Jon and Katey are getting a very public and messy divorce right now and are blaming the paparazzi and their lack of privacy, among other things, as the main reasons for the demise of their marriage. You can't be serious? First of all...the way I see it, they should be put in jail for taking fertility pills after they ALREADY had twins which of course, caused them to have six more babies...but that's beside the point. ANY parents that are sick enough to exploit their own children's childhoods by putting their faces on reality TV to make a few bucks, get EVERYTHING that they deserve. You sold your soul to the "TLC" channel, and it cost you your marriage. Deal with the decisions that you make. Everyone else has to, and EVERYONE else knew that ANYONE who puts their lives on television, ends up ruining their lives just as quickly as they take the money that comes with it. Quit your crying.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see how these kids end up turning out. I think that there's five girls and three boys in the bunch. What's the over/under on strippers that come out of this litter? It's like Chris Rock said, "A dad's #1 job is to keep his daughter OFF THE POLE!" Expose them to fame when they didn't do anything to deserve/desire it, and you're generally sending them right down the path of the wild/slutty/drug attic variety...probably NOT "off the pole" if you ask me.

Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Paris in September" by Noise by Numbers. Chicago all-star band. Drinks of Choice: Starting the day with coffee, finishing with...?

Take care,
Webby

Wait 'Til Next Year

Hello again. Sorry for posting so late in the day. I'm swallowed in depression right now as we inexplicably lost in our radio league championship softball game last night 8-7 in 9 innings (we normally play seven...so obviously, we went extras). It was our strangest game of the season too (of course, we pick the championship game for our weirdest performance of the year).

We were the home team due to our higher seed in the tournament, so we took the field first. They scored three runs in the inning without hitting the ball square one time (I know that I probably sound like Hawk right now, but it's the truth). We walked two batters, made two errors, and they had two bloop hits that fell in between second base and the right fielder. Not a good way to start the ball game, but we were the best hitting team in that league during the regular season/playoffs so there was NO doubt in my mind that we would bounce right back with some runs of our own...and that's exactly what we did.

We answered right back with three runs in the bottom half of the first to tie the ball game back up (not to mention, we were actually hitting line drives all over the field compared to their duck snorts). All right. Back to zero-zero. When we took the field in the 2nd inning tied up, I just knew that we were going to start putting zeros on the board defensively, and guess what? They went scoreless for the next four straight innings. We were lock down in the field. Now, holding a team to four straight scoreless innings in a baseball game is good, but it's not that big of a deal. Holding a team scoreless for four straight innings in 16" softball, is pretty unheard of. Especially when you do it against the caliber of team that would be playing in a championship game.

So, I'm sure that you're thinking...How could you lose the ball game when you were tied at 3-3 and then held them scoreless for four straight innings? Well, I'll tell you how. They held US scoreless for four straight innings as well! We couldn't believe it. They made ZERO errors in the field, and made some spectacular plays too. Not to mention, we stopped hitting with runners in scoring position (not unlike your Chicago Cubs...I wasn't going to mention them today, but what can you do?), and had some base running blunders as well. We had a base runner get hit in the leg by a ground ball between 2nd and 3rd that cost us two runs, and I got thrown out at the plate trying to score from second on a single to left field. So there you have it. A championship game in a 16" softball league is tied at 3-3 heading into the top of the 6th of Seven innings.

All of a sudden, we completely imploded. Our infield (which had been making great plays all game long) started booting the ball around the field and our pitcher started walking their girls (I know that it sounds sexist, but anyone that's ever played co-ed 16" softball knows that a girl is an easy out 100% of the time. You CAN'T walk them). So they ended up breaking the 3-3 tie with a four run 6th inning, and seemingly blowing the game wide open in the process as we had just six outs left to work with.

In the bottom of the sixth, we loaded the bases with nobody out. We scored one run on an RBI ground out. Then I scored from third on a sacrifice fly cutting the lead to 7-5. That ended our scoring in that inning as we wasted a golden opportunity by only scoring two runs with the sacks packed and zero outs (White Sox style). We came back and shut them down 1-2-3 in the top of the 7th, and headed into the bottom of the inning needing two to tie, three to win. Our first batter ended up grounding out, but then the next two hitters reached base and we were able to tie the ball game on another RBI ground out sending this championship game into extras.

Again (for the sixth inning of this nine inning ball game) we shut them out in the 8th and took the field with our 6th-7th-8th hitters (all solid players) and a chance to win the championship in the bottom half. We'd come back from a 3 run deficit, and then again from a four run deficit. Now all we needed to do was scratch across ONE tally, and the trophy/money was OURS. FINALLY, it was OUR year in this league. Our lead off hitter smoked a line drive into the right field gap that I thought was at minimum a double, possibly even a triple. Then, out of nowhere (to our surprise/dismay) their right fielder makes a running/leaping catch robbing us of extra bases and probably the championship. Our next batter singled, but then we followed with two soft fly outs to end the inning. We were deflated.

In the ninth, their lead off hitter hit a sharp ground ball to our shortstop who made a nice play to field it, but rushed the throw and ended up over throwing the first baseman. This lead off error ended up scoring on a sacrifice fly and gave them the lead 8-7 heading into the bottom of the 9th. We had our 9th-10th-1st batters due up but they just couldn't get it done. We quietly went down 1-2-3 in the ninth, and The Mix celebrated with OUR trophy as we just watched from the dugout.

I know that it's just a stupid recreational softball league, and that the money would basically just cover our costs/uniforms/etc., but it still hurt losing this game. We were extremely confident coming in (having won seven games in a row, INCLUDING one against The Mix), and just couldn't imagine being held down for six of the nine innings offensively like we were (especially since we scored 22 runs the week before!) In yesterday's entry I mentioned that we were similar to the 2007 Colorado Rockies as we got off to a slow start, and then turned it on, running the gauntlet on the rest of the league and into the championship game...I had NO idea that we were running into the Red Sox.

Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Fleeting Porch" by Drag the River. Good rock band out of Colorado. Drinks of Choice: MHL.

Peace the F.
Webby

I'm about to F*** Your Head up with some Truth! You're F***ing Out!

Hey, hey brothers and sisters. Hope you're enjoying the beautiful Tuesday that has been laid out before us. I just got back from dropping my girlfriend and her two friends off at Midway Airport as they are now heading to Seattle for eight days. It be just me and my cat Skiba (yes, I'm a grown man with a cat...didn't I already make fun of myself for this?). Big, BIG day for me today. Just kidding, but I do have my radio softball league championship game this evening...so there's that. We're going to try and make it nine wins in a row to close out the season/playoffs. We're like the 2007 Rockies (only hopefully with a better end result). The Mix (our opponent) ain't no Boston Red Sox either.

In tragic news...Kevin Gregg just absolutely murdered me last night (along with the Cubs' chances in 2009). It was one of those games that I just knew that they were going to lose. It seemed like it was every inning from the 4th inning on that they were stranding the bases loaded or two guys here and two guys there. With each wasted opportunity, you just got the feeling that the baseball Gods were going to make the Cubs pay...and they did...in the form of Kevin Gregg.

I guess that Lou has finally "had it" and is going to make a change in the ninth inning spot. I haven't listened to any sports radio yet today, but I'm sure that this is the natural topic of the day (who should be the Cubs new closer down the stretch?), and I guess that it's a FAIRLY interesting discussion, but to think that it's going to make a significant difference for this average team I think is a bit of a stretch. Who do you want in there, Marmol? The fact that he has a very average WHIP (1.47), can't consistently throw strikes (52 BB's in 55 2/3 IP, which is why his WHIP is so high), and leads the Major Leagues among relievers with 11 hit batters, leads me to believe that he doesn't make for a great recipe when it comes down to closing out ball games. He's scary as hell in the 8th inning, I can't deal with that in the 9th. How about John Grabow? He's left handed (not sure if that's an advantage or a disadvantage?), his WHIP is a little bit better than Marmol's (1.44), and his ERA is much lower (2.98 compared to Marmol's 3.51). He might be a decent fit. The problem with doing that is that if you put him in the closer's role, you're now back to it just being Sean Marshall as your only left handed reliever in the pen (not to mention that Grabow has zero experience as a 9th inning guy, to go along with zero experience pitching in a high pressured playoff race...spent his entire career in Pittsburgh. Not his fault, but a fact none the less). I'd probably just leave him be. He has a lot of value in the middle innings for this team.

I guess MY pick would have to be Angel Guzman (wow, I never thought that I would make a statement like that back in spring training). Angel is pitching with a ton of confidence right now and it's showing. He has a staggering WHIP (0.98), a career best (and best of the three mentioned) ERA of 2.42, and he doesn't give up the long ball anywhere near the rate that the old "Cub Killer" himself Kevin Gregg does (Angel's given up 6 HR in 52 IP). Yes, I'm aware that he has no experience. I'm also aware that this weakens your 7th/8th innings exponentially, but you can't keep giving away ball games late, especially while the Cardinals continue to keep stealing games themselves in come from behind fashion. It's bad business.

I am glad however, that I'm NOT the one making this decision because I feel that you're almost HURTING your team as much as helping them by changing up the entire make up of a pitching staff in mid-August. I mean, let's say Lou does decide to put Guzman into the closer's role. By doing that, you're taking a kid that is tasting his first amount of success at the Big League level and throwing him into a pressure cooker situation that he's never experienced. How many chances are you willing to give him? Let's say that he goes out there and blows the save in his first chance, do you risk completely draining all of the confidence that took him so long to gain by immediately pulling him out of the spot, thus ruining him as a 7th/8th inning guy as well? OR, do you leave him in there, all while risking that he'll continue to act like a first-time closer (which he'd be) and blow his share of big ball games in the mean time? Not to mention, you'll now enjoy Kevin "Kyle Farnsworth" Gregg as your new set up/7th inning guy where he'll continue to give up a staggering amount of home runs that will probably cost you just as many games as when he was your closer (Scott Linebrink-esque). What a messy situation the Northsiders find themselves in.

What am I going to do you ask...?

Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to put this season completely behind me and hope that the GOD DAMNED sale of this team finally comes to fruition so WE can get back to acquiring key players at the God damned trade deadline! How embarrassing that a major market team like the Cubs had to sit and watch a little dump of a town like St. Louis acquire big name player after big name player thus, making their slightly above .500 team legitimate contenders in the National League while OUR slightly above .500 team continues to be exactly what they've been...a slightly above .500 team.

Any time now Mr. Ricketts...

Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "No Exceptions" by Chris Wollard & The Ship Thieves. Great band out of Gainesville, FL. Drinks of Choice: GF's gone, whiskey time.

BTW...thank you very, very much to those who took the time to check out my acoustic songs that I posted on "The Skyfall" myspace page (if you haven't, what are you waiting for?...J/K, you're not missing much). There have been nearly 1,200 plays in the short week that they've been up there, and that means a TON to me. Thanks again, and I'll be playing some shows in the very near future.

XOXO,
Webby

Do You Like Fish Sticks? Yes, I Love Putting Fish Sticks in My Mouth. Then You're a Gay Fish.

Ladies, gentleman and comrades alike...good morning to you. I hope that you all made it a weekend to remember. I fell a bit short, but my weekend was productive none the less. I put up a couple of new songs from my acoustic project on my website www.myspace.com/theskyfall. If you haven't checked them out yet, what are you waiting for? Just kidding. Let me know what you think though, there are now five songs up there for your listening pleasure (or to AT LEAST have a good laugh at my expense). I also wrote a new song that I completed on Friday. It's called "My September Storm" and I'm fairly proud of it. It's a lot more "folky" sounding than any of my other songs, but I think that it will compliment my little set quite nicely. Now the process of getting some shows together officially begins for me. If you need a mediocre "singer/song writer" to perform for your: party/bar mitzvah/bris/family reunion/bar/cult ritual/etc., hit me up. I'd be glad to help.

Let's see...what happened this weekend that we could rap about? The Cubs swept a rain abbreviated series against the Pirates, the White Sox went into Oakland and took two of three from the A's, and Jay Cutler had a mediocre debut at Buffalo for the Bears' first preseason game of 2009. Boring. The annual "Air & Water Show" went down at North Ave. Beach. That's always extremely distracting/annoying. We could talk about that? No? Yeah, I'm good on that one too. How about the fact that Tiger Woods did NOT win a major tournament for the first time in his career when leading after 54 holes (day 3)? Not only did he fall short yesterday, Tiger didn't win a major tournament at all this year. It's the first time that that has happened since 2004, and Y.E. Yang (your 2009 PGA Champion) won the 1st major title of his career, and was the first Asian born player to EVER win a major in professional golf. Now THAT was some entertaining stuff yesterday, but I still don't want to talk about it.

I saw "The Great Buck Howard" and "I Love You Man" over the weekend (both on DVD). They were both fairly entertaining. I preferred "The Great Buck Howard" myself, as it starred John Malkovich (one of my all-time favorite actors). Maybe you do, but I don't remember hearing ANYTHING about this movie when it came out. You would think that a movie that has John Malkovich, Tom Hanks, and Steve Zahn in it would come along with a little fan fair. This did not as far as my movie radar could pick up, but I still enjoyed it. I actually found it quite refreshing. Plus, I can relate to a movie that is about a "regular dude" who works for an eccentric (to a fault) type of guy, and all of the quirks that go into doing something like that. Believe it or not, I've been there myself.

Promise me loyal "Webby Files-ites," that when you become rich/famous/powerful in whatever it is that you're striving to do, don't EVER forget where you came from. I know that the whole "don't forget where you came from" thing is a bit tired among the entire cliche' community, but it still rings VERY true. Answer me this: Why is it that when people achieve a little bit of success, they seem to feel that every last ounce of humility that a normal human being possesses can safely go out the window? There's now NO need to be modest, humble, gracious, tactful or ANY of those stupid little traits that are instilled in us from the time that we can first comprehend anything. I'M ME!!! I don't qualify for that group of "regular individuals" anymore. I can do whatever I want!...Why does that happen?

Another thing is, you know when Len and Bob have a special guest in the booth (usually to sing the 7th inning stretch), and the person is either a famous actor/actress, or musician, or a professional athlete from another sport, and the guy/gal actually turns out to be a decent human being. What does Len always say after that "decent human being" leaves the booth? He'll inevitably say, "Bob, no matter how big "so and so" is, he's always so down to earth when he comes by for a visit, and never seems to have forgotten where he came from." This is always said, and it always bothers the hell out of me and I'll tell you why. Behavior like that should be EXPECTED! We should never have to compliment someone for acting as civil as any other human being would naturally act. It's ridiculous. If you or I were invited into the booth, we'd be EXTRA respectful, courteous and gracious. We wouldn't even think about it, it's just the way that normal people act in those kinds of situations. Instead of complimenting "so and so" for acting like a decent person, Len should call out all of the people that act like jerks when they're in the booth (I know that in our culture, it's probably not wise for Mr. Kasper to risk his job by calling out a famous celebrity), but it doesn't make it wrong. Instead, as a society, we expect celebrities to act like jerks (because most of them do), and we're pleasantly surprised when they don't. It seems a bit backwards to me.

As a whole, our culture is very enabling to this kind of behavior. We love the drama in our reality TV, we love all of the "glam" that takes place on the Red Carpet, Kanye West is NOT an ass clown for his off the wall love of himself (we'll deal with it because his music is so good), we enjoy T.O. and Chad "Ocho-Cinco" (as long as they catch Touchdowns), Russell Crowe is endeared for his acting ability (even though he's a complete phony), and Bono can do NO wrong (C'mon. You can't make fun of our Bono, he cares about kids in Africa for goodness sake!). As long as we keep supporting this kind of trash (buying their albums, jerseys, movies, etc.), they'll continue to carry themselves in this way, and will walk all over the level of decency that is expected from a normal human being. Let's reverse our expectations.

I gotta go. I'm burning my copy of "A Perfect Mind" right now. I CAN'T STAND Russell Crowe.

Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall, or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "The Ballad of Me and My Friends" by Frank Turner. I couldn't relate to this song any more if I tried. You should check it out, quality song from the U.K. Drinks of Choice: Cup o' Joe.

Peace the F.

Webby

The Woods are Lovely, Dark and Deep. And I have Promises to Keep, Miles to go before I Sleep. Did You Hear me Butterfly? Miles to go before I Sleep.

TGIMFF!!! My fellow Internet brethren, how are things with you? I'm a bit down myself for some reason. Yes, it's a beautiful day in Chicago. Yes, it's the beginning of a Summer weekend. Yes, I'm healthy, and have great family/friends/significant other...I guess it's just a case of the blues. I've never dealt with depression or anything like that, but can't someone just have the blues anymore? Now everything always has to have a diagnosis..."You're not just down, you suffer from: Major Depressive Disorder, Dysthymic Disorder, Manic Depression, Post Partum Depression, Atypical Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), etc., etc." "Take this prescription, and this anti-biotic, and do this, and don't do that, and, and, and"....it's getting to be a bit ridiculous.

For me, it's all just a state of mind. I know that there are some out there who just can't escape their life of melancholia, and I feel bad for that group. For most of us however, it's good to just accept the fact that you're going to feel down every once in awhile. There's NO reason to fake being happy all of the time, because it ain't true. Everything is NOT OK sometimes...and that's...OK. I know that my particular case is a combination of things: Being low on money, short on direction, the Chicago Cubs (I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can't help it), anxious about my music, etc., etc. Everyone has their own set of problems/worries, so I'm not going to bore you completely by getting into mine, but let's just be real with each other. Life sucks sometimes. That's just the way it is.

You simply have to find your non-destructive release. When they're winning, the Cubs are a great release for me. The problem is that when they're losing (now), they're gasoline on the fire for my particular case of the blues. I also like to play music (write songs/record/shows/etc.), this is another great release for me. I wrote a song last night (3/4 of it I guess...need to finish it today). Of course, since I was feeling a bit down, guess what the song was about? You guessed it. Feeling down. It seems to just kind of add to the sadness. As most of you reading this know, I've been known to enjoy my share of drinks from time to time. Now I know that all of you mongoloids are already jumping up to cast your stones..."Webby! You S.O.B.! Drinking is NOT a NON-destructive release moron!" Well, that may be true. For you.

Drinking is a touchy subject with me (I'm well aware that that statement sounds a bit strange). I mean, if you tell someone that you like to go to bars, and when you're not out on the town, you'll tend to enjoy a couple of cold ones at the house (whether you're with others, or by your lonesome), the judging process will immediately begin. People love to judge. Along with reality TV, Judd Apatow movies, and sushi, judging is smack dab in the middle of the "team photo" of things that the average Joe loves to do on a daily basis. I guess it's human nature, but believe me. Drinking does NOT have to be a destructive activity.

Don't drink to forget, or to blackout, or to get laid. Don't drink with a vengeance, or to gain the courage to fight that guy, or kiss that girl. Don't drink to be seen, or to be the center of attention, and don't drink if you don't want to drink. These are ALL destructive methods. These people are usually drinking Bud Light's or Vodka Red Bull's (make that ANYTHING with Red Bull) and have gel in their hair and a "club shirt" on. These people pick a fight with you when you accidentally bump into them while in a crowded setting. These people smother girls, and don't tip bar tenders. We ALL know who these people are. Don't be these people. Let them fight who they need to fight outside of the bar, and then walk home by themselves to their virtual girlfriends.

Remember the scene in the movie "Death Proof" where Kurt Russell (Stuntman Mike) says: "You know a bar offers all kinds of things other than alcohol. Like women, nacho grande platters, the fellowships of fascinating individuals like Warren here...alcohol is just a lubricant for all of the individual encounters that a bar offers." This couldn't be more true. You can't achieve this feeling at a club (what you'll achieve is a ton of the individuals in the paragraph above), but at a bar, where you can sit down in the company of friends or even complete strangers and have a drink (and a nacho grande platter), my friends, there are very few better things in this life of ours. Just be sure to drink in the form of celebration. Drink to dance. Drink to sing. Drink arm in arm, hand in hand. Sit at the bar next to the oldest and crustiest guy that you can find, order a beer and a shot, and just listen. Just hunker down and listen. Within five minutes, that guy will start telling you some of the most amazing stories that you've ever heard, and he'll probably buy you a drink too. You'll learn more from that old man at the bar than you EVER did in school.

Never drink to forget, drink to remember...and just let them blues fade away. I'm on MY way right now.

Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall, or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Avoiding Catatonic Surrender" by Tim Barry. Kind of sums up how I feel right now. Drinks of Choice: PBR, shot of Rye.

Make it a weekend to REMEMBER.
Webby

Good Pitching will Beat Good Hitting any time, and Vice Versa.

Friends, how in the hell are you? I finally received the first three of my seven new songs that I recorded acoustically back on August 2nd. I'm pretty pleased with how they turned out considering how rushed the process was, so I posted them online for you to enjoy/make fun of. I'm supposed to get the rest of them back this weekend, so that will be good. I'm definitely anxious to hear the other four, because there are at least two in that batch that I think that I'll like more than these three. We shall see.

Back in 2006 I started a little project called "the skyfall" because I felt weird just calling my acoustic stuff "Matt Weber." So I think that I'm just going to keep that name (partly because I like it, partly because no one else is using it as of now). So the songs are up on www.myspace.com/theskyfall, along with a song that I recorded back in like 2005. I guess the idea from this little seven song EP that I've done is to pick three songs that I think that other people will like the most and then send them out as a demo to try and book as many shows as possible. It might be a bit of a "pipe dream," but with the thousands and thousands of bars/venues/coffee shops in the Chicagoland area that host live music every day, I'm hoping to get to the point where I'm playing some sort of acoustic set around four to five nights a week, thus making decent money all while doing something that I thoroughly enjoy. Will it work? I know that I have my doubters out there, but even if I'm playing four to five nights a month...at least I'm playing music again.

Has anyone noticed how the Chicago Cubs and the Chicago White Sox have completely flipped? Ponder this: When you think about Sox GM Kenny Williams, what comes to your mind? Probably that he is one of the best GM's in baseball considering that he finds a way to be competitive pretty much year in and year out all while having his hands tied financially (due to a fiscally responsible owner/lack of attendance/etc.). When you think about Jim Hendry on the other hand, it's a lot different feeling. You probably consider him to be a mid-level GM (still not bad, but definitely NOT a top-5 guy), who makes some decent trades/acquisitions, but has his mistakes covered up a lot more easily due to the flexibility he possesses (high payroll/high attendance/ballpark that attracts fans even when the team's losing/etc.). Man, have those roles reversed this season.

When Jim Hendry traded Mark DeRosa, everyone (including me, and probably you) thought that he was simply piling up prospects to make a run at let's say...Brian Roberts, or Jake Peavy. We ALL knew that Soriano was a bad lead off hitter, and that Brian Roberts would be exactly what the doctor ordered in that spot. A TRUE lead off hitter, that bats left handed and possesses great speed/stolen base ability. If Hendry wasn't going to deliver on Roberts, then we at least KNEW that he'd acquire Padres' ace Jake Peavy. I mean, anyone can use a former Cy Young Award winner in their rotation, so that would have definitely worked out as well. Little did we know, Jim Hendry was NOT stocking up on prospects to make another acquisition to IMPROVE on a 97 win ball club, he was simply following orders to dump payroll after the Milton Bradley signing (which obviously turned out to be a bad one). What? The Cubs, dumping payroll? The team that outbids THEMSELVES to get the guy(s) that they want? Yes. Without an owner, the team was told that it could NOT add any payroll to improve on a division champion. So Hendry, knowing that his team needed another left handed bat, signed Milton Bradley. Since that contract added $10 million to his payroll for '09, he had to dump somewhere (funny, I know). The problem is that he was loaded with bad contracts (no body's fault but his own, but remember, he was led to believe that the bank account wouldn't run out). Obviously, NO one would take on Soriano (8 years/$136 million), or Fukudome (4 years/$48 million), or Ramirez (5 years/$75 million), or Lee (5 years/$65 million), and he wasn't going to trade any pitching. So he chose to not resign Kerry Wood, and to trade the ONLY good contract that he possessed...Mark DeRosa (who also happened to be the Cubs' MOST VALUABLE PLAYER). This, along with injuries, and under performance by key players, has led to a slightly above .500 baseball team for 2009.

Kenny Williams, however, is all of a sudden Mr. free spender! He's had no problem adding guys that make a LOT of money over the last few years. Jim Thome (7 years/$95 million), Orlando Cabrera (4 years/$32 million), Scott Linebrink (4 years/$19 million), Ken Griffey Jr. (9 years/$112 million...just payed a pro-rated amount for half of a season), and then the two big ones in the last few weeks. Jake Peavy (4 years/$63 million) and Alex Rios (6 years/$64 million). Why have the roles reversed you might ask? Well, obviously the stability of ownership is key, but I think that it has more to do with Kenny's long term plan.

Over the last few years, Williams has transformed an aging past their prime ball club, into a young vibrant team all while staying competitive in the process. Just look at that pitching staff. Gavin Floyd, John Danks, and now Jake Peavy to go along with the always reliable Mark Buehrle (Aaron Poreda possibly not too far behind). Young, good, and contractually locked up. With the steroids era seemingly in the rear view mirror, teams are putting more emphasis back on speed and athleticism as opposed to guys that just bash the ball around (Konerko, Thome, Dye, A.J., etc.) Kenny Williams seems to really be leading the charge by acquiring guys like Rios and Alexei Ramirez, and drafting and developing guys like Gordon Beckham and Chris Getz. Also, when you look ahead to Jordan Danks, Jared Mitchell, Dayan Viciedo, Tyler Flowers, etc., the sky is the limit for at least the next five years or so. I think that it's his clear-cut plan that has loosened the pockets of The Chairmen (it certainly isn't their attendance).

That is why the roles have reversed my friends. Jim Hendry was told "Win, and win now!" by his bosses heading into the 2007 season, because they knew that they could get the most possible value out of the franchise if it was a winner. So Hendry signed the big name manager that was available along with some key free agents, and turned a 66 win team into the Central Division champions. Then going into 2008, he added to that ball club with guys like Kosuke Fukudome, Jim Edmonds, Reed Johnson, the development of Geovany Soto, and made a big splash by acquiring Oakland ace Rich Harden mid-season. He put all of his eggs in 2008's basket and the team cruised to a 97 win, division championship season. They of course inexplicably flopped again in the playoffs, and then the proverbial financial clamps came down on ol' Jimmy heading into '09, thus leading us to where we are today.

There are a lot of people that are clamoring for the head of Jim Hendry on the Northside. I think that that's a bit premature. The guy is probably the best GM in Cubs' history (not that that's saying much). I mean think about it. He's won three division championships in six years (and is still competing in this 2009 race). By comparison, Kenny Williams has one just two division championships in his eight years of service on the Southside. Now obviously Kenny has a World Series ring, but a GM can't get blamed for what happens in the postseason. His job is to simply build a team that's good enough to make it to October, once you get there, it's a complete crap shoot based on match ups and who's the hottest team at the time. I'm not saying that Hendry is a better GM than Williams (I don't think that he is), but I'm a little disgusted with the fact that people already want him gone. Kenny has the loyalty of Jerry Reinsdorf and the entire organization almost to a fault (and probably always will), maybe Hendry would perform a little bit better if he had a little backing as well. As far as Lou goes...let's wait and see.

Hit me up on facebook, myspace.com/theskyfall, or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "The City that Day" by Matt Skiba. Drinks of Choice: A&W, a summer delight.

Thanks.
Webby

Next Up: Tyler Perry's "House of Payne" followed by "Meet the Parents" Very Funny.

Hey, hey. Good to have you back. Sorry for not posting yesterday (no computer access). The Cubs continue to disgust me, and continue to show how valuable Aramis Ramirez is to their team. Everyone knew that the guy would be missed, but my goodness! This is getting ridiculous. Now I know that no one would ever compare Aramis to let's say...Pujols, or A-Rod, but when you take him out of your lineup, it hurts HIS team just as bad as their respective teams. The Yankees didn't start winning until Alex Rodriguez returned from hip surgery, and if you took Albert Pujols from the Cardinals, they would fall flat on their faces as well, even with Matt Holliday/Mark DeRosa. When you take your star player out of the equation, not only does it effect his position/spot in the order, it trickles down to every player on that 25 man roster. And that's exactly what is happening to the Cubs. Hopefully A-Ram can return from this cortisone shot and have a productive final 7-8 weeks while not hurting himself for the future. We'll see...

Another pedestrian win for my softball team last night in the first round of the playoffs. We extended our winning streak to eight games in a row by beating The Score 22-7 in five innings (slaughter rule), and improved our record to (9-2) overall. I had a terrible game offensively (0 for 3, RBI), but I'll take the win. I must admit that we felt disrespected by only getting the #3 seed in the tournament after beating the #1 seeded team (Jack FM) head to head, so I guess we kind of took it out on the #2 seeded Score guys. Jack FM ended up losing in their first round game to The Mix, so I guess all is well that ends well. It'll be the #4 seeded Mix vs. us in the championship game next week. We beat The Mix pretty handily in our regular season match-up with them, but as your Chicago Cubs know far too well, regular season victories mean very little come playoff time. Whatever happens, it's been the most fun that I've had on a softball team in all of the years that I've played.

I want to kind of tie the Chicago Cubs and my experience with softball together a little bit. (I'm well aware that this sounds meatballish already...but PLEASE hear me out). I'm going to tell you about a certain occurrence that seems to take place all of the time in the world of sports. You never know when it's actually going to happen, or to whom, but it happens repeatedly whether you're talking about professional athletes or a stupid radio softball league. I can't take credit for the title (it's HIGHLY debated between my friends Herb Lawrence and Thomas Hall on who DOES deserve the credit), but I GUARANTEE that you reading this will add this little gem of a saying to your vocabulary IMMEDIATELY (if you haven't already).

It's a little thing that we like to call T.B.S.

Yes. T.B.S. (Tight Booty Syndrome). Very funny (I DID come up with that). What causes T.B.S.? No one knows, but it's there. It's DEFINITELY there. The 2008 Chicago Cubs were coming off of a playoff berth in 2007 in which they were embarrassingly swept by the Arizona Diamondbacks in three games. So they went out there and took it to their opponents, running the gauntlet on the National League that season by building a big division cushion in the first half, landing an NL record 8 players on the All-Star team, and coasting their way to a league leading 97 wins and home field advantage throughout the playoffs. When they got to October however, instead of being that loose, relaxed team from the regular season that always seemed to hit with men on base, and didn't get flustered when a guy made an error or walked somebody, they inexplicably reverted back to that playoff team of '07. They started gripping the bats, booting the ball around the field, and walking guys left and right. That team suffered from one of the WORST cases of T.B.S. that I've EVER seen!

It happens on smaller levels too. I played on The Score softball team for the last three seasons. When I left the station before the beginning of this season, I joined my current team. The main difference from the team that I play on now, and my friends/former teammates on The Score team is simply ATTITUDE. Softball (like any other sport) is FUN. It's a game played outdoors, with your friends, in the summertime. What's more fun than that? What happens when you take something that is fun and turn it into something that is too serious? I'll tell you what happens...T.B.S. When I played on The Score team, I found myself (a guy that doesn't take ANYTHING that seriously) getting caught up in their over seriousness of the game, to the point that it effected MY play on the field. I would make stupid errors that I've never made before, and I would grip the bat too tight in key situations. In the regular season we were fine. We'd relax, have fun, and just rely on our talent (which wasn't much, but we're playing in a "radio" softball league). So of course, we would coast through the regular season, but come playoff time, when the games mattered and money was on the line...dead fish. Why? Pressure bursts pipes when you care too much.

With my current team, we set the tone early-on that we were just going to play loose and have fun (as you should in a stupid rec-league softball season). I remember getting swept in a double header our second and third games of the season dropping our record to (1-2). At the bar after the game, we decided that instead of getting on each other and taking this league so seriously, we were going to take more of the "Manny" approach. There's a reason why Manny is so clutch in the playoffs. He doesn't care. I know that it bothers a lot of people when you tell them that a millionaire athlete doesn't care, but Manny Ramirez doesn't care, and that's part of the reason why he's so successful. When a player just relaxes and relies on his natural abilities, he's at his absolute best. It's the old baseball cliche' of "not thinking too much." We adapted that little philosophy to our softball team, and we haven't lost since.

I'm good friends with a lot of the players on The Score softball team, and know all of them very well. They of course were doing a lot of talking before the game about how we were just a speed bump between them and the championship game and that was fine. I have no problem with a little trash talk (even if it is about something as nerdy as a radio softball league), but even with the fact that they had an identical record as us, and had actually beaten us in the regular season, there was NO doubt in my mind that we were going to win the game. Why? Because while they were constantly talking about the game on facebook, we were doing other things like: watching TV, drinking, talking to members of the opposite sex...you know, NOT thinking about the game. We were ACTUALLY relaxed and loose, instead of just TALKING about being relaxed/loose.

We were behind 5-2 heading into the second inning of the game after a couple of un-characteristic errors by our defense. They of course started taunting us by saying that "we were nervous" and "scared." Instead of letting the pressure "burst our pipes," we produced a diamond from all of that pressure and scored five runs in the second making the score 7-5 heading into the bottom of the inning. It was then that I KNEW that their inevitable T.B.S. would set in like it had in the three previous seasons that I played with that group of individuals. They quietly went down in order 1-2-3, and we responded with seven more runs on the board in the 3rd blowing the game wide open and silencing all of the fake confidence from that side of the field in the process. The noise from all of the simultaneous heads dropping was deafening.

I'm not sure if the current Cubs/Score team will always have T.B.S. come playoff time, or if that is something that can be cured. I just know that when you don't care, and don't take things too seriously, stuff always seems to work out. Just ask Manny.

Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Midsummer Classic" by Sundowner. Drinks of choice: coffee.

Later.
Webby

One Goal!

Hello again. A bad, bad weekend for the two baseball teams around here. The White Sox lost two out of three to the hapless Indians at home, while the Cubs have lost two of the first three (of a four game wrap-around series) to Colorado out at Coors Field with game four tonight. Even worse for the Northsiders, Carlos Zambrano joined Ted Lilly on the DL due to back spasms, Aramis Ramirez had to leave Saturday's game and didn't play on Sunday because of his shoulder, and the Cardinals had two come from behind victories leading to their eventual sweep of the Pirates. Bad, bad weekend all around.

Speaking of BAD weekends, how do you think Patrick Kane's weekend went? Wow. I don't know what other people are saying about this right now, but I'm finding it EXTREMELY hard to believe that a millionaire athlete would beat up a 62 year old cab driver over $1.20 in change. Something else had to lead up to this. I think that it's obvious that Kane and his cousin were drunk. I GUARANTEE that the cab driver recognized the Blackhawks star as Buffalo's "home town hero," and either gave him a hard time or got a little too vehement for an intoxicated 20 year old to handle at 4AM. So Kane probably got mouthy back with the guy (showing off for his cousin), and when they reached their destination, Kane gave him the $15 and asked for "all of his change back" not wanting to tip this "d-bag" that he'd been jawing with the entire ride. The cab driver probably responded by saying that he didn't have any change (when everyone knows that cab drivers always have change), and so Kane and his cuz' reached for their money leading to some kind of altercation. Obviously, we don't know "exactly" what happened, but I guarantee you that the incident wasn't as the cab driver described it: (I didn't have their twenty cents change so they beat the crap out of me, then robbed me and took off). I'm sorry. I just don't think that ANY professional athlete is just going to assault somebody over twenty cents when there wasn't anything going on leading up to that point. It doesn't make any sense. Only time will tell I guess.

I AM glad, however, that the Blackhawks "honeymoon" is finally over. It got to be a bit much for me. I remember saying during their playoff run, that I almost felt bad cheering for a team that I didn't care about at all two years before (I'm not alone on this), but talk about one hell of a drop off. They went from the "can't do wrong Hawks" to the Cincinnati Bengals in the course of ONE Summer. They lost to Detroit in the Conference Finals, screwed up the signings of their batch of free agents, fired their GM Dale Tallon, signed Marian Hossa who is now out due to shoulder surgery (and is having HIS contract examined as well for wrong-doing), and now, had their all-star "face of the franchise" get arrested for assaulting and robbing a cab driver at 4AM (all the while only being 20 years old)!!! Now that's "Red FALLING!" It's getting to the point that when you open up the newspaper, you expect to see something negative when the piece is about the Hawks. Talk about a complete 180 from all of the kiss-ass stories about the Saint John McDonough! You guys wanted to be covered as "equals" in this town, be careful what you wish for.

Whether Kane blatantly committed the crimes that he is accused of committing, or the cab driver deserves equal blame for this incident has very little importance to me. You simply just CAN'T put yourself in those kinds of situations. I'm NOT going to get on him for underage drinking. Yes, it's wrong, but we all did it. I'm not that much of a hypocrite. I also don't care that he was out until 4AM...this is America, we can be out as late as we want. It's stupid when people say that you shouldn't be out that late, yes you should...if you want to, so I'm not going to preach about that either. You just have to be a little more tactful with how you handle things Patrick (Derrick Rose, Jonathan Toews, Tyrus Thomas, Michael Phelps, all young athletes). If the cab driver is bothering you (just my opinion that the cab driver is due some blame in this), immediately tell him to pull over, pay him what he's owed, and get a new cab. It's that simple. Just avoid any possible altercation BEFORE it has a chance to escalate into something as ridiculous as this. No one wants to hear the "I'm only 20 years old" excuse anymore. It sucks, yet you hear Kane, D-Rose, etc. talk about it all of the time. Guess what, you're NOT too young for all of the perks (big contract, endorsements, fame, girls, notoriety), so you're NOT too young for all of the responsibilities that come with them as well. It's that simple. Go out, have fun, enjoy the gifts that were presented to you. You'd be stupid not too, but recognize the fact that you are a part of 1% that were given these gifts which means that 99% of us weren't. A good portion of that 99% will always try and bring you down if YOU let them. Stop letting them.

Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Jumping the Shark" by The Lawrence Arms. Chicago's finest. Drinks of Choice: Milwaukee's Finest, MHL.

Peace the F.
Webby

Don't Nobody go in the Bathroom for about 35, 45 Minutes. Somebody Open up a Window.

I know that you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job...and you ain't got shit to do.

Friends, happy Friday. It's raining in Chicago, and it seems like this is the first gloomy day that we've had in a month, so I guess we can't complain. People DO seem to complain about the weather all of the time. How pointless. Obviously it is something that we can't control, so why waste your breath? One of the worst things that people do is complain when it's super cold outside in the winter, but then when it warms up in the summer time, they bitch and moan about how hot it is. You can't have it both ways. If you like it cooler, don't bitch about it being cold out. I've always enjoyed hot weather myself. It can't be hot enough. Which makes one wonder why I've stayed in the midwest all of my life. Family I guess, but it sure doesn't make a lot of sense to live somewhere that is completely miserable for about four months out of the year (six if you're in Chicago), when we could easily move to a place such as San Diego where it's consistently in the mid-seventies year 'round. Why do we put ourselves through this? I don't know either? I DO know that I've just written an entire paragraph about the weather. Wow. I'm willing to bet that this is an all-time low, even for "Webby Files."

Now we need a topic that is the COMPLETE opposite of "talking about the weather." How about race/sexual orientation relations? Too edgy for you? That would definitely "pick it up a notch" around here. I do find it hilarious how talking about race in this country makes people SO uncomfortable. Obviously, being a strait white male, I've never experienced the negativity of racism/sexism/homophobia that others have, so naturally it's twice as difficult for me to grasp the magnitude that this topic carries with many individuals, but I do know that in order for strides to be made, people are going to have to stop sweeping this conversation under the rug and start attacking it head on.

The fact that homosexuals STILL don't have equal rights because of the ideologies of crusty, old, religious white dudes is beyond me. For some reason, the idea of Adam and Steve sharing the same rights as Adam and Eve just consumes the thoughts of these cats. They can't get away from it. How about this: Stop having affairs on your wives, or worrying about your guns being taken away, or forcing YOUR religion into schools where not all people share YOUR ideas, or stealing from your employees, or trying to "shoot down" the efforts of preserving our environment, or trying to KEEP health care as expensive as you possibly can, or trying to preserve the "war on drugs." Stop! These are REAL issues. Leave the gays alone! Just let them have equal rights so we can ALL pull together to solve the REAL problems of our country. That would be a good start.

Speaking of REAL issues...I believe that we should legalize all drugs. Yes. ALL DRUGS. Now I know that we're not all going to agree on this, but hear me out. I've never done drugs in my entire life (marijuana doesn't count, and I've barely done that.) This is NOT one of those stoner presentations that we all sat through in High School where the class pot-head shows off his psychedelic poster board on why marijuana should be legal so he can go smoke it during study hall. This is an important issue and I'll tell you why. I believe that legalizing drugs will solve a ton of the major problems that this country faces every single day.

First of all, if we legalize drugs today and release all of the NON-violent drug offenders that over populate our prisons, we'll save trillions of dollars every year from here on out. Trillions, all while decreasing the over-population problems that we're currently dealing with, and ending the constant need for tax payers to fund the opening of new facilities. That's a good start, huh?

How about this? If we legalize drugs today, the recession ends...TODAY. Instead of being a black market product like drugs currently are, with their legalization, American farms would immediately begin to grow everything from marijuana to cocaine and everything else in between...LEGALLY. Next to all of your corner liquor stores, there would be weed stores. This may sound weird to you, but you're taking a multi-trillion dollar economy that already exists, and simply making it legitimate (and everybody knows that alcohol/tobacco is just as/more harmful than drugs...and we've got NO problem with drinking our booze and smoking our cigarettes). All while creating billions of jobs in the process. Farmers, wholesalers, distributors, stores, etc., etc...the possibilities are endless. All on American soil, instead of illegally smuggling it in from Mexico, South America, and so on. We'd be back as an economic world power instantly.

Still not convinced? How about this one? Legalizing drugs will dramatically decrease the violence in our inner-cities. FACT. Remember Al Capone? During prohibition, ol' Al used to illegally smuggle alcohol into the speakeasies. That was one of his biggest products. He'd kill whoever was in the way of him making the money that he wanted to make by illegally distributing alcohol. Well guess what? You don't hear of people shooting each other over alcohol anymore do you? You know why? Because it is LEGAL. If you legalize drugs, and take them off of the black market by legitimately selling them in stores just like you do alcohol and cigarettes, all of the violence that comes with them will immediately fade away. 99% of gang violence IS drug related. Now I'm not saying that all of the violence will go away. These people will still find products to sell on the black market such as guns and other illegal things, but if you take drugs out of the equation (which legalizing them will do), you're taking a lot of ammunition from the hands of our American gangs. A good thing, me thinks.

So let's see here...we've effectively ended the recession by creating billions of jobs and creating an entire new economy, found the answer to our over-populated prisons (while saving tax payers billions), and essentially ended gang violence in our inner-cities. Not enough for you? Well, we're going to get this nation out of it's little debt that it's accrued by taxing the HELL out of these drugs as well. There's NO reason why our deficit should continue to climb when there's a product being sold on our streets every single day that we're not able to tax because it is illegal. It just doesn't make any sense. Tax the hell out of this stuff, and make money on both ends like the government does with everything else. Also, we'll have to regulate this just like we do alcohol. You must be 21 to purchase it, and you obviously can't drive while under the influence.

Of course, with an argument like this, there are always going to be those who say that if we legalize drugs, then there will be anarchy on our streets. It's simply not true. If heroin was legal tomorrow, I can guarantee you that I'm not going to go buy heroin. I'm just not. I'm smart enough to know how dangerous the stuff can be, so I'm not going to try it. I imagine that you reading this are in that same boat. It's no different than cigarettes. Cigarettes are legal, but now that our country knows how harmful they are, the percentage of smokers is going down every single year, but we still keep them legal. Why? Because we make a ton of money off of those who choose to lead a harmful life of smoking by continuing to grow/produce and tax them. We also have NO problem with gambling. There are casinos everywhere, yet I don't see anarchy on the streets (some would argue that that is what Vegas is...but I digress). The people who are doing drugs now will continue to do them...the people who aren't, will continue to be drug-free. The difference is that instead of drug lords/dealers/gangs/etc. reaping the benefits, the American people will be the benefactors. I've also heard that some people believe that if drugs were legal, the consumption would actually go DOWN. It's the whole "people won't be enticed to do them anymore because they won't get the rush of doing something that is illegal" (kind of like drinking/smoking not being anywhere near as cool when you're actually over 21.) As great as this theory sounds, I'm not sure that I buy it, but hey, if it IS true in some sense...then I guess it's a bonus.

We sure came a LONG way from talking about the weather didn't we?

Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Blood Brothers" by Bruce Springsteen. Drinks of choice: Livin' the High-Life. Make it a great weekend y'alls.

Peace the F.
Webby

I Drive a Ferrari, 355 Cabriolet, What's Up? I have a Ridiculous House in the South Fork. I have Every Toy You Could Imagine. Best of all, I'm Liquid!

Friends, enemies, acquaintances, it's good to see you again. Sorry for posting so late in the day today. You can always tell how much I've drank the night before by how late in the day I write this stupid thing. I guess I don't really have a lot to say to you. I mean, what's really going on? The Cubs had a GREAT opportunity last night with the Cardinals and Astros already in the loss column from earlier in the day, and Rich Harden on the mound against Reds' no-namer Justin Lehr who was making just his second career start...and what happened? Of course, the guy throws a complete game shut out and Cincinnati beats the Northsiders 4-0 in one of the most un-eventful games of the season. The Sox had a nice win last night, but as I'm writing this they trail the Angels 9-4 in the top of the 9th inning at The Cell. A loss I presume. I'm still waiting to get some mixed copies of my EP that I recorded over the weekend. Hopefully that will give me something to talk about and they'll turn out to be decent enough to where I'll want to start playing some shows again...Seen any good movies lately? Me neither. I'm really looking forward to Tarantino's new flick that is coming out in a couple of weeks "Inglorious Bastards." From what I've read, it's about American soldiers who interrogate Nazi's back in World War II with very convincing methods. It stars Brad Pitt and I'm not sure who else. Knowing Tarantino's history, I'm sure that Samuel L. Jackson is in there somewhere yelling at the top of his lungs.

What a funny thing being an actor/actress must be. I can't imagine that it's very difficult, but with that being said, it's really easy to recognize the BAD ones. My goodness. There's nothing funnier than watching some really terrible acting. Whenever somebody asks me who my favorite actor is, I find it very difficult to answer. I have no problem answering who my favorite band is (The Smiths), or my favorite food (pizza), or my favorite color (navy blue), but there's something about those actors/actresses that makes it hard to give an immediate answer.

I guess maybe it's jealousy/envy, but it bothers me that dickholes like Ashton Kutcher and Vin Diesel make a ton of money doing movies when they don't display a particular talent of any kind. I'm never mad about athletes making it big, they're able to do something that no one else can. Musicians (whether I like their music or not), tend to have some talent as well, so I guess I have nothing negative to say about them either, what stand-up comedians do (even the bad ones) has to be one of the most difficult things of all of the performers, so they're safe in my book, but what does an actor/actress actually do?

Let's see here, I want you to act like you're doing something (something that real people do every single day), and we're going to give you as many takes as you need to get this scene right, and how about this? We'll even sub a stunt man for all of the difficult stuff because we don't want you to actually work...oh yeah, and we're going to pay you millions to do this. How does that sound Mr. Affleck? WHAT???!!! How did WE miss out on this? We all should have wanted to be actors/actresses when we were kids, NOT firemen and baseball players. We really missed the boat on this one!

I haven't done a list in awhile so here goes..."THE 10 WORST ACTORS in HOLLYWOOD" by Matt Weber.

10.) Vince Vaughn - Definitely not a popular pick I'm sure, but this guy plays the same exact character in every movie that he does. He's smart, funny and engaging, but somehow he gets amazingly hot chicks with very below average looks (if you don't mind me judging a dude) and he gives you the same jokes with the same delivery in all of his roles. I'd like to see him NOT be "Trent" from "Swingers" in every movie that he's in. I don't think that that's asking too much.

9.) Seth Rogan - A VERY poor man's Vince Vaughn. Broke and under a bridge he's so poor.

8.) Nicholas Cage - He's actually done some pretty good movies ("Raising Arizona," "Leaving Las Vegas"), and I give him credit for taking some chances with certain roles, but good god! This guy is a TERRIBLE actor. I just can't handle that expression-less delivery that he brings. Does his face even move?

7.) Keanu Reeves - An easy pick. Really, he's fairly similar to Nicholas Cage in that he has been in some decent movies ("Point Break," "The Devil's Advocate"), but he has absolutely NO acting ability. He'll always be "Ted Logan" as far as I'm concerned.

6.) Ben Affleck - Getting off of Matt Damon's coat tails was the WORST thing that this guy could have done. Not only is he a terrible actor, but I'm not willing to give him credit for co-writing "Good Will Hunting." There's NO WAY that this assclown could have contributed anything to a movie of that caliber. Stick to small doses Benny, do us all a favor and think roles like "Boiler Room" as the extent of your career.

5.) Sylvester Stallone - Just watch Rocky One through Six, Rambo One through Four, Over the Top, Stop! Or My Mom will Shoot, Cliffhanger, Demolition Man, etc., etc. If you need any more convincing, watch Judge Dredd. Ol' Rocko is one of the worst of all time.

4.) Arnold Schwarzenegger - I didn't think that I would ever be happy that he's the Governor of one of our fifty states. But as long as that means that he ain't acting, California keep voting.

3.) Dane Cook - I give him credit for doing the stand-up (even though it's so bad that I'm cringing just thinking about it), but seeing that he is somehow getting consistent roles in Hollywood while our country's unemployment rate continues to skyrocket...depressing.

2.) Ashton Kutcher - I dig the fact that he's from the midwest, and that he's a huge Cubs/Bears fan, but come on. How lucky can one guy be? He did that super annoying show on MTV "Punk'd," and somehow blossomed that into Demi Moore and a string of bad movies. Seeing him try and act in a serious role "The Butterfly Effect," is STILL one of the funniest things that I've ever witnessed.

...AND THE NUMBER ONE WORST ACTOR IN HOLLYWOOD ACCORDING TO ESTEEMED MOVIE CRITIC...ME!!!...

1.) Vin Diesel - I have NO idea where this guy came from. I have NO idea what movie directors/producers find appealing about him. I couldn't tell you WHO is buying tickets to the "Fast and the Furious" movies, or playing the video games, but WE need to take Vinnie and all of his supporters and put all of them into a line of fast cars that furiously drive off an enormous cliff one by one! This needs to be done soon, and effectively. I'll be sending out the corresponding details of this mission via email within the next few days.

There you have it. The 10 worst actors in Hollywood. Honorable Mention: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Will Ferrell, Sean William Scott, Steven Seagal (he probably should be number one, but he slipped my mind until now), Woody Harrelson, Burt Reynolds, Chuck Norris, Tom Cruise, Kevin Costner (definitely should have made the list, I despise this guy), Russel Crowe (personal taste) and SO many more.

Feel free to email me your picks on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Trying to find a Balance" by Atmosphere. A little hip-hop on a Thursday afternoon. Drinks of choice: A&W, always refreshing.

Peace the F.
Webby

I Lied and said Chris had tumorsyphilisitisosis. They were gonna cancel Gumbel 2 Gumbel!

Hello friends. Do you believe in miracles? Our softball team made it seven in a row last night as we defeated the defending league champions The Mix 8-5, improving our record to (8-2) heading into the playoffs. I had a TERRIBLE game offensively going 0-4 for the first time in my softball career, but made up for it in center field with a nice diving catch that saved two runs.
We're tied with The Score and Jack FM for first place, and The Mix is in fourth place with a record of (6-4) after their loss to us which ended their four game winning streak. Playoff time starts next week, not for the faint of heart.

After the game, while drinking at a bar on Division St. with some friends/teammates, CBS' Greg Gumbel walked by the open window where we were sitting. He had two very creepy bald white dudes with him, each with a very impressive Tom Sellick-esque mustache (possibly bodyguards/lovers?), and it got me thinking of some of my brushes with athletes/celebrities that I've had over the years.

Working in sports radio for three + years, I've had my share of encounters with "the famous," mostly athletes of course, and there's generally a funny story that goes along with each meeting.

I was Shaquille O'Neal's personal escort around Chicago one time (not sexually...you creeps!) and for some reason I asked him, "Shaq...Kazaam?...Come on man?!" (Obviously, EVERYONE knows that Kazaam was a terrible movie, but only a D-BAG (me) would ask the star of the bad movie why he did it). The question didn't even phase him. He just looked at me, smiled and said, "Brotha, I made 6 mill doin' Kazaam." And that was it. Those seven words were one of the coolest things that anyone has EVER said to me.

I once got to play "Golden Tee" with the voice of "Golden Tee" Jim Nantz of CBS Sports. Not only did he kick my ass at the game, but we got him to say some of his lines from it as well, such as..."Get out the putter Peter." Excellent. I remember Cal Ripken Jr. would always say "cheese" before getting his picture taken (every single time). It was as if he was a robot, and saying "cheese" was his signal to let you know that he was now programmed and ready for you to snap the photograph. I've always thought that that was kind of strange. Ryne Sandberg was really cool (not just because he was my hero growing up), but he told me that he expects to see my picture up on the wall with all of the other NBC icons at the "NBC Tower" where I used to work. I'll NEVER forget that. Susie Esman from my favorite TV show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" said that I was "hot." She wasn't too bad either for a woman of her age. Jose Canseco was pretty much the tool that you might imagine wearing sun-glasses indoors and not saying two words to anybody, and I remember being pleasantly surprised about how nice and courteous Alex Brown of the Bears was when I drove him around on a golf cart down in Bourbonnais for training camp.

It's weird that these people (the famous) are so eccentric in their own way. I've always wondered whether you act like that because you're constantly in the "lime-light" due to your immense fame/fortune/popularity? Or, if the reason that you became famous/rich/popular in the first place was because you acted in that way? Not sure?

Let's just promise each other this...if either of us ever get rich/famous/popular at whatever it is that we're striving to do, we won't EVER do ANY of the following: Wear make-up for no reason (Steve Stone, Michael Jackson), sunglasses indoors (Jose Canseco, Jesse Rogers, Michael Jackson), become ultra paranoid about everything around us (Murph, anyone in radio management, Michael Jackson), alter the color of our skin (David Kaplan, David Schuster, Michael Jackson), or simply be an assclown to those around us (too many in sports/sports media to mention, Michael Jackson).

It's funny how MJ is so similar to everyone in sports/sports media isn't it?

Enjoyed talking to you today. I just found out that through all of the tie breakers, our softball team earned the #3 seed and will take on The Score (#2 seed) in the first round of the playoffs on Tuesday. Let's go. Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Last Pale Light in the West" by Ben Nichols. I've been on a real acoustic kick lately. Drinks of choice: After Bud Lights last night (didn't have a choice, and almost chose water. I feel as strongly about anti-Bud Light drinking as most Chicagoans feel about ketchup on a hot dog). Miller Lite I guess?

Peace the F.
Webby