Friends, good morning. It's a beautiful summer day in Chicago and I'm enjoying my coffee as if I was Walter Sobchak sitting at a diner after I was nearly thrown out. (Sigh), I love "The Big Lebowski." On a serious note...what an amazing thing coffee is. It's no doubt an acquired taste (I don't know anyone under the age of 16 that enjoys it), but once you've worked your first forty-hour week, you pretty much can't live without those ground down coffee beans and hot water. Thank you great nation of Columbia. Delicious.
So did you hear that Michael Jackson was actually murdered? I guess you could call it that. Yes, it sounds like his personal physician was pumping him full of different prescriptions, and yes, that violates his patient/doctor responsibilities, but I'd hardly call this a "tragedy." If my doctor gave me a laundry list of pills to take when I wasn't actually sick, I may consider questioning his intentions, and I'd probably end up seeking a second opinion. That's just me. If I'm rich/famous/powerful, I'm not going to blindly swallow an infinite amount of capsules just because some doctor prescribed them to me. You've gotta keep your head on a swivel these days. If you have money, someone else is trying to get it from you. That's just the way it is. These are the ONLY situations where it's advantageous to be broke like me. Nobody EVER leaches on to the guy with shallow pockets. It's bad business.
As far as being addicted to prescription drugs goes...I'm sorry. I have very little sympathy for you. Did you ever think that maybe the prescription drugs that you pop everyday could possibly be even worse for you than whatever it is that is causing your pain in the first place? My philosophy on drugs (prescription or non-prescription)/vitamins/chiropractors/etc., is this: The human body is a pretty powerful/wonderful thing, if you let your body NATURALLY fight off infection/illness/pain/etc., not only will it generally succeed, but it will create an even stronger immunity to whatever was harming you for the future. Obviously, there are serious diseases/injuries/etc., that need immediate medical attention. Your body can't just heal cancer on its own, but I'm willing to bet that a VERY high percentage of people that take antibiotics or even Tylenol everyday, take it for NON-serious issues.
There are simple observations that I have made throughout my limited time on this planet that have led me to these conclusions. For example: Have you ever met ANYONE that has only gone to the chiropractor ONCE? I haven't. People talk about how their back felt "out of place," so they went to the chiropractor and had them re-adjust their entire spine. Immediately, they felt relief. Cool. The problem is that two weeks later, their back felt even more out of place so of course, they had to go back. Now Mr. chiropractor has you hooked like a drug dealer would. He's the ONLY one who can give you that "relief" that you're looking for, but guess what? It only lasts for so long, so naturally you'll have to come back and pay more money for your fix. I'm on to you chiropractors.
How about people that constantly go to the doctor for every little thing, or those who take a couple of aspirin everyday for their constant headaches? What is that busy doctor going to give you when you come in? Not attention, we know that. These are busy dudes. Since he can't give you the proper attention that you deserve, he's simply just going to look up in his little medical book whatever drug that applies to your particular issue, and scribble out a prescription. All this drug will do is cover up the pain until the next time. Then you'll be right back to see Dr. Howser.
My favorite are the commercials for all of those prescription drugs out there. "Do you have "restless leg syndrome?" If so, don't deal with that embarrassing shaking leg anymore! Just take two of these Zykillacon's per day, and you'll be as still as a portrait...side effects include: runny nose, migraines, syphilis, dysentery, AIDS, the black plague..." People don't actually buy these do they? I guess they must. Somebody is paying for all of that advertising.
Look, I'm no health care expert. Hell, I'm not really an expert on ANYTHING! I just know that the human body is pretty amazing. When you feel pain in a certain area, it's generally just your body telling you that you're doing something harmful to it. Instead of covering up those warning signs that your body is giving you by taking prescription drugs, why don't you just change up your daily routine? If your back hurts, there's a logical reason for it. Maybe your bodily structure is not built to carry 320 LBS? Instead of running to the chiropractor and/or taking pain medication everyday, why don't you lose some weight? I guarantee you that your back will thank you. What's that you say? You're NOT overweight but you still have back pain? OK. My guess would be that your body is telling you that it's time to quit your job as a concrete worker. I know that this is not always logical, but guess what? You only have one body. Would you rather look into possibly working in a different aspect of your company that doesn't require as much physical labor, or be a hunch back in a wheel chair during your twilight years? It's your decision I guess. I plan on being a pain in the ass when I'm old and retired. Hard to do that when you can't even stand up.
There's almost always an explanation for everything. If you have constant headaches, don't take aspirin everyday to mask the pain, consider cutting caffeine out of your diet (I'm saying this as I'm pounding my second cup of coffee this morning...but hey, I haven't had a non-alcohol related headache in my entire life). If you need more vitamin A,B,C or D in your diet, don't pop over-the-counter vitamins. Get out in the sun, eat fresh fruits and vegetables and get your nutrients NATURALLY. Not only does this stuff taste a MILLION times better than the processed junk that most Americans consume, it's better for you as well. And my favorite...if you have a restless leg that is annoying in public situations, and even prevents you or your spouse from sleeping...guess what your leg is telling you? Get off of your ass and run!!! If you're not pounding energy drinks everyday, and you get out and play some basketball or run on the treadmill, you'll be amazed at how quickly that restless leg goes away. There's no such thing as A.D.D. Hell, I have a short attention span when I'm doing something that I'm not interested in. Parents who pump their kids full of pills for being hyper or non-attentive should be PUT IN JAIL. Your kid doesn't need Ritalin, he needs a better teacher, a decaffeinated diet, and less video games/more sports and outdoor activities! It's that simple.
These issues are something that I feel very strongly about. Next time that you're popping a Tylenol for pain in your wrist, or going to the chiropractor, or considering methods to calm down your hyper child, please think of Michael Jackson or Rush Limbaugh or even Brett Favre. Hell, think of every time someone makes you mad by "half-assing" something to get results. Remember, sweeping things under the rug NEVER makes your house clean. Get the vacuum cleaner out, and stop being so lazy.
Wow. I'm like Dr. Phil (except not overweight, Texan, or an assclown...my opinion I guess).
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to a little Ben E. King. Yes. Drinks of Choice: the gourmet shit that Jimmie bought because when he drinks it, he wants to taste it.
Cheers,
Webby
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