What up my people? It's good to know that I'm only talking to COOL Webby Filesites today, as all of you I'm sure have begun applying my rules to being cool from the last entry. I'll accept all forms of payment for your gratitude, but I prefer crisp (non-consecutive) bills and/or nude photos (preferably female, but that's negotiable) sent to the email address on this blog. Thanks again...I'm glad to help.
Let's see here...there are many orders of business to discuss with you on this Monday morning.
First of all, Daylight Savings Time = stupid.
How difficult would it be to just set the clocks a half an hour in the middle and then keep the same time all year 'round? That way the "Daylight Traditionalists" get their extra sunlight that they can't live with out, and the "Getting Up An Hour Earlier When You Already Have to Get Up At 3 F***in' Thirty-ists" (me) don't have to make the unnecessary adjustment every spring. Works for me...how about you? Good? Good. Now that that's settled, what else?
I attended my Great Grandmother's birthday party yesterday at a nursing home in Galesburg, IL. Now, I know what you're thinking...who cares, boring, I'm hungry, etc. (well, maybe I don't know what you're thinking), either way. This wasn't just any birthday, this was an extra special day because my Great Grandmother turned 100 years old! That's pretty incredible in my world, and almost impossible to even fathom. Think about it. She was born in 1910. She's witnessed a ridiculous amount of our nation's history. World War I, the Women's Right to Vote, Babe Ruth, the Great Depression, the Nazi Regime, World War II, Pearl Harbor, Korea, the Civil Rights movement, J.F.K., Vietnam, a Man on the Moon, Nixon, the Miracle on Ice, the Gulf War, 9/11, Barack Obama, etc., etc. She's seen it all man! Everything! Well, everything except for a Cubs' World Series. A tip of the cap to you Grandma Lundeen.
I had a dream last night and I wanted to share it with you guys. I'll preface this by saying that I haven't vividly remembered a dream of mine in probably five years. For whatever reason, I can never recall my dreams, but last night I had a dream that is so indented into my brain that it is going to be hard for me to ever forget it. It's not that the dream is very elaborate or unique in any way, because it's not. It's simple, and I'm sure that most of you have had dreams that are very similar. I guess it's just the fact that I completely accepted my death last night and I want to share with you how I reacted in my time of self realization.
The three people that I was with in this particular dream have never entered my stream of unconsciousness in my entire life (they rarely even enter my conscious mind). One of them I speak to about three times a week. The other two I have only spoken to about ten times in my life, and never in a personal setting. It's pretty weird that they would be the ones to share in my first "remembered" dream in five years, but hey, who can explain these things anyway?
Here goes...
I was entering the lobby of the Hancock Building in downtown Chicago. It was understood in my mind that this was my place of employment (even though I've never worked in that building in my life). I was with Brendan McCaffrey (a friend of mine that I play basketball with and hang out with a couple of times per week...also, a former co-worker) and Boers and Bernstein (a popular Chicago sports radio duo who's show airs on the station that I used to work for. I've only actually produced their show once. It was about two years ago. I also don't listen to them very often anymore, so I'm clueless on why they were in there...). Weird, huh? Anyway, the four of us entered the Hancock Building together and were joking around about something. It turned out that Brendan and I were going to be producing their show that day, so we all walked together through the crowded lobby and headed toward the studio. The four of us entered the elevator along with about five other people. The doors closed, and we started our journey up to the 25th floor. When we got to about the 23rd floor, the elevator shook for a second, made a strange popping noise as if disconnecting from the cable, and then began to fall...plummeting toward the ground like a controlled roller coaster. We were done for. The second that we started to fall, everyone looked at me with a silent terror on their faces. Without hesitation (and without an ounce of fear in my voice) I said, "We're dead." (It seemed to be in the same tone of voice as Hawk Harrelson of the White Sox saying "He gone!"). At once, I closed my eyes and listened to the falling elevator hum it's way down the shaft, to our demise. As all of this was going down, two things entered my mind. The first thought was an episode of Mythbusters in which they demonstrated that if you're trapped in a falling elevator, even if you were to jump in the air right before it hit the ground, the momentum would still kill you. The other thing was whether or not I was going to pray before my certain death. I thought about it for just a moment, and then whispered to myself:
"God, please forgive me for not believing in you."
Then I woke up.
Everyone that knows me (and all of you that have ever read this blog) know that I'm not a religious man. In fact, I believe that religion causes far more bad/dangerous things in this world than provides good for people. Having said that, I've never claimed to be an Atheist either. I guess that I just hate labels. The fact of the matter is that NO ONE is 100% certain about any of it. Not the Pope, not your Rabbi, not your mom, not your grandma, not that freaky religious guy on the corner, not you...NO ONE. We're all clueless and we all just kind of run around living our minuscule little lives until we eventually shrivel up and die. As sad as that may sound to you, that's the way it is...but I did learn something about myself last night. As strong as my opinions are on most/all things on this here planet of ours, it's obvious that I don't completely disregard the existence of a higher power. As scary and illogical as that is to me, the proof is in the pudding. When the chips were down on the table and I was convinced that my life was completely over last night, I said a prayer for the first time since I was 14. I'm not sure what any of this all means, but I AM willing to swallow my pride and share my hypocrisies with all of you out here in the blogosphere...
AND I'm as open as a Wal-Mart to your insight...
Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Away from the Numbers" by The Jam. A "poor man's" Clash in my opinion. Drink of Choice: Monday Joe.
Later,
Webby
Friday, March 12, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
My Dad Made a Mullet Look Cool While Singing About His Heart. What the Hell has Your Dad Ever Done?
Hello folks and welcome to Tuesday, March 9th's edition of "Webby Files" aka your NUMBER ONE/FAVORITE/MOST IMPORTANT source of Internet fodder on the web. It's good to be with you. I'm a little sore and disappointed as my recreation league basketball season came to an end last night in the first round of the playoffs. After a rousing 4-0 start to the campaign, team "Too Old for This Shit" dropped four straight (three of the four we had the lead in the second half!) to close out the season as we finished up with an extremely lackluster .500 record. I will say this, if you want to get into REAL shape and not be a part of the disgusting obesity problems that our country is dealing with right now, then play some basketball a couple of nights a week. That my friends is conditioning. It'll put you treadmill runners to shame after about five minutes of sprinting up and down the court. You can count on it. As far as my team goes...wait 'til next year, I guess.
I've said it many times before and I'll say it again...there's really nothing more UNDER-rated than coolness. It's a trait that is hard to measure and nearly impossible to gauge, but everyone knows which of their friends are cool, and which are not. We ALL love/want to be the cool guy/girl. ALL of us. Yet, being "cool" doesn't seem to get enough credit out there when talking of attractive personality traits that people are looking for in either a friend or in someone of the opposite sex (same, if you're a gay of course).
There's really no explanation for this, but some people just seem to have "it" and it's those said people that everyone constantly wants to be around as much as possible. You don't necessarily even have to be great looking, particularly intelligent, rich or even famous/popular (although most cool people possess several of those qualities), you just have to have the right attitude/mentality that comes with being cool. I think that most cool people are born with this mindset, but I'd like to think that you "uncool" folks out there (it's very unlikely that an UN-cool person is reading "Webby Files", but I'll continue anyway) can be coached into being as cool as a cucumber. That's where I come in.
Here are four rules/suggestions/ways of life to live by in your day to day run-ins with society folks (feel free to add your own suggestions on my facebook page or in the comments section). Take these seriously and apply them right away. If you do, you'll see immediate results, guaranteed or this edition of WF is free of charge!
Okay, here we go...
1. The "C" word:
No, not cunt (although I do feel that that particular "C" word is extremely under-used. [I don't understand why women hate it so much, yet they love "club" rap songs?], but I guess it's fair to say that I don't understand a lot of what goes on in the female mind. I really do love that word though, and use it quite often). The "C" word that I'm speaking of in this case however, is CONFIDENCE. Loyal WF readers know that I think that confidence is the key to everything in life. It gets you anything that you could ever possibly want and all of those things that you're just dying to have, you only obtain to gain confidence (nice cars, homes, clothes, plastic surgery, teeth whitening products, make-up, boner pills, etc. are ALL confidence builders. Nothing more, nothing less, and that's why we get them). Confidence gets the girl, the job, the promotion and every ounce of success that this world has to offer. Period. If you're going to be cool, your most important obstacle to overcome is gaining confidence in yourself. If you can find a way to do this, everything else will take care of itself. I promise.
2. Let the game come to you.
As important as having confidence is, being OVER-confident is extremely UN-cool. So you must find a way to walk that line. An easy way to make sure that you don't cross it, is to simply "let the game come to you." What I mean by that, is you must relax on the talking about yourself out there. Unless someone actually asks you a question, just chill out and talk about universal topics or ask them questions about themselves. Especially if you're trying to pick up a girl. She doesn't want to hear about you but she DOES want to sit there and tell you everything about herself. Let her. Ask her some questions and keep your mouth shut. It works. NOBODY that is cool just sits there and talks about themselves all day. It's boring, repetitive and believe me, nobody cares. Not even your mom cares that much about your job, band, car, etc. Scope out what's going on and kind of be the quiet mysterious guy for awhile. Once the game comes to you (which it will) turn on the confidence (without talking about yourself) and you'll be amazed at the results. Works every time.
3. Don't be a pussy.
I can't stress this enough. Nobody likes a baby. Nobody. For EVERY problem that you've ever had (or ever will) there's millions of people in this world who had/have it WAY worse than you could ever imagine. Period. Everyone has problems, so don't let yourself just sit there and be depressed/angry/sad all day because of yours. Figure out how to solve them, and stop being a pussy. This applies to every issue (big or small) and will immediately change your entire outlook if you stick to it. Lost your job, huh? Well, you can lay in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself and shouting obscenities at your ceiling OR, you can stop being a pussy and get out there and find a new/better opportunity. In the meantime, try doing some things that you've never done before. If you take each challenge as an opportunity instead of a problem, you'll find that you will actually make the most out of the situation and possibly even gain some perspective. Pouting/apathy/depression has never gotten anyone anywhere and never will. Ever.
4. Be willing to put yourself out there at times.
ALL cool people are involved with some things that most people would never dare to try. This doesn't mean that you all of a sudden need to take sky diving lessons and train to climb Mt. Everest while you make notes to begin writing a 500 page novel (although with that being said, if you're doing any of that stuff, you're cool as hell). What it DOES mean is that going to work, going home, eating three meals a day, praying and then going to bed is NOT cool and NEVER will be cool under ANY circumstance. Get out there and live a little bit, people. Play some sports, write poetry, join a book club, start a band, paint a picture, drink on weekdays, take a dance class, create something, go somewhere, stay up late, eat Indian food, go to a "black" club, break the law (within reason), perform something in front of other people, etc., etc. If you're scared to try something new/or hang with people that you have NOTHING in common with, then you are UN-confident/being a pussy/and not putting yourself out there, whatsoever. You're UN-cool. It's cliche' but you really only do live once. Don't EVER forget that.
I'm 100% positive that if you strictly follow these four steps and apply them to your day to day lives you will immediately notice remarkable changes in your surroundings. Your proverbial world will be rocked. I guarantee it.
Other things to consider when being cool:
Avoid pop music/blockbuster movies of any variety (First of all they suck. Second of all...you're probably not very cool if you're listening to Miley Cirus while on your way to see Avatar, me thinks), try to be at least somewhat knowledgeable in a wide array of topics (not just stuff that you're in to), don't dress like a tool (no wife beaters, baggy jeans, Jesus sandals, hemp necklaces, etc.), personal hygiene is a definite MUST (I shouldn't have to explain this...but I do), your drinks of choice should be well thought out (no guy looks cool drinking a frilly blue drink with an umbrella in it), be passionate about something (not caring about anything can be cool for awhile, but it soon wheres off and you're just labeled as a boring dude that has no thoughts), avoid club grinding/dancing/shaking (it's impossible to be cool when you're the random guy on the dance floor trying to rub on various groups of girls. Those girls are making fun of your drunk ass and you're too UN-cool to even recognize it. Don't EVER be that guy. Regular "couples dancing" IS cool, however, and permitted when at weddings/dance halls/celebrations).
I hope that this entry has been beneficial to you. I'll talk to your cool ass later.
Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to Dead to Me's record "African Elephants." Great band out of San Francisco. Drink of choice: Tullamore Dew on ice is always a quality sip.
Later,
Webby
I've said it many times before and I'll say it again...there's really nothing more UNDER-rated than coolness. It's a trait that is hard to measure and nearly impossible to gauge, but everyone knows which of their friends are cool, and which are not. We ALL love/want to be the cool guy/girl. ALL of us. Yet, being "cool" doesn't seem to get enough credit out there when talking of attractive personality traits that people are looking for in either a friend or in someone of the opposite sex (same, if you're a gay of course).
There's really no explanation for this, but some people just seem to have "it" and it's those said people that everyone constantly wants to be around as much as possible. You don't necessarily even have to be great looking, particularly intelligent, rich or even famous/popular (although most cool people possess several of those qualities), you just have to have the right attitude/mentality that comes with being cool. I think that most cool people are born with this mindset, but I'd like to think that you "uncool" folks out there (it's very unlikely that an UN-cool person is reading "Webby Files", but I'll continue anyway) can be coached into being as cool as a cucumber. That's where I come in.
Here are four rules/suggestions/ways of life to live by in your day to day run-ins with society folks (feel free to add your own suggestions on my facebook page or in the comments section). Take these seriously and apply them right away. If you do, you'll see immediate results, guaranteed or this edition of WF is free of charge!
Okay, here we go...
1. The "C" word:
No, not cunt (although I do feel that that particular "C" word is extremely under-used. [I don't understand why women hate it so much, yet they love "club" rap songs?], but I guess it's fair to say that I don't understand a lot of what goes on in the female mind. I really do love that word though, and use it quite often). The "C" word that I'm speaking of in this case however, is CONFIDENCE. Loyal WF readers know that I think that confidence is the key to everything in life. It gets you anything that you could ever possibly want and all of those things that you're just dying to have, you only obtain to gain confidence (nice cars, homes, clothes, plastic surgery, teeth whitening products, make-up, boner pills, etc. are ALL confidence builders. Nothing more, nothing less, and that's why we get them). Confidence gets the girl, the job, the promotion and every ounce of success that this world has to offer. Period. If you're going to be cool, your most important obstacle to overcome is gaining confidence in yourself. If you can find a way to do this, everything else will take care of itself. I promise.
2. Let the game come to you.
As important as having confidence is, being OVER-confident is extremely UN-cool. So you must find a way to walk that line. An easy way to make sure that you don't cross it, is to simply "let the game come to you." What I mean by that, is you must relax on the talking about yourself out there. Unless someone actually asks you a question, just chill out and talk about universal topics or ask them questions about themselves. Especially if you're trying to pick up a girl. She doesn't want to hear about you but she DOES want to sit there and tell you everything about herself. Let her. Ask her some questions and keep your mouth shut. It works. NOBODY that is cool just sits there and talks about themselves all day. It's boring, repetitive and believe me, nobody cares. Not even your mom cares that much about your job, band, car, etc. Scope out what's going on and kind of be the quiet mysterious guy for awhile. Once the game comes to you (which it will) turn on the confidence (without talking about yourself) and you'll be amazed at the results. Works every time.
3. Don't be a pussy.
I can't stress this enough. Nobody likes a baby. Nobody. For EVERY problem that you've ever had (or ever will) there's millions of people in this world who had/have it WAY worse than you could ever imagine. Period. Everyone has problems, so don't let yourself just sit there and be depressed/angry/sad all day because of yours. Figure out how to solve them, and stop being a pussy. This applies to every issue (big or small) and will immediately change your entire outlook if you stick to it. Lost your job, huh? Well, you can lay in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself and shouting obscenities at your ceiling OR, you can stop being a pussy and get out there and find a new/better opportunity. In the meantime, try doing some things that you've never done before. If you take each challenge as an opportunity instead of a problem, you'll find that you will actually make the most out of the situation and possibly even gain some perspective. Pouting/apathy/depression has never gotten anyone anywhere and never will. Ever.
4. Be willing to put yourself out there at times.
ALL cool people are involved with some things that most people would never dare to try. This doesn't mean that you all of a sudden need to take sky diving lessons and train to climb Mt. Everest while you make notes to begin writing a 500 page novel (although with that being said, if you're doing any of that stuff, you're cool as hell). What it DOES mean is that going to work, going home, eating three meals a day, praying and then going to bed is NOT cool and NEVER will be cool under ANY circumstance. Get out there and live a little bit, people. Play some sports, write poetry, join a book club, start a band, paint a picture, drink on weekdays, take a dance class, create something, go somewhere, stay up late, eat Indian food, go to a "black" club, break the law (within reason), perform something in front of other people, etc., etc. If you're scared to try something new/or hang with people that you have NOTHING in common with, then you are UN-confident/being a pussy/and not putting yourself out there, whatsoever. You're UN-cool. It's cliche' but you really only do live once. Don't EVER forget that.
I'm 100% positive that if you strictly follow these four steps and apply them to your day to day lives you will immediately notice remarkable changes in your surroundings. Your proverbial world will be rocked. I guarantee it.
Other things to consider when being cool:
Avoid pop music/blockbuster movies of any variety (First of all they suck. Second of all...you're probably not very cool if you're listening to Miley Cirus while on your way to see Avatar, me thinks), try to be at least somewhat knowledgeable in a wide array of topics (not just stuff that you're in to), don't dress like a tool (no wife beaters, baggy jeans, Jesus sandals, hemp necklaces, etc.), personal hygiene is a definite MUST (I shouldn't have to explain this...but I do), your drinks of choice should be well thought out (no guy looks cool drinking a frilly blue drink with an umbrella in it), be passionate about something (not caring about anything can be cool for awhile, but it soon wheres off and you're just labeled as a boring dude that has no thoughts), avoid club grinding/dancing/shaking (it's impossible to be cool when you're the random guy on the dance floor trying to rub on various groups of girls. Those girls are making fun of your drunk ass and you're too UN-cool to even recognize it. Don't EVER be that guy. Regular "couples dancing" IS cool, however, and permitted when at weddings/dance halls/celebrations).
I hope that this entry has been beneficial to you. I'll talk to your cool ass later.
Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to Dead to Me's record "African Elephants." Great band out of San Francisco. Drink of choice: Tullamore Dew on ice is always a quality sip.
Later,
Webby
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Fighting Crime in a Future Time, Protecting Empire City from Big Boss and His Gang of Crooks
Happy hump day guys and gals! All is going quite well for me, thanks for asking. I hope that the same is happening for you on this glorious late winter morning. I received tons of feedback via text message/email/facebook/etc. on my last entry: "If There is Any Attempt for Either Contestant to Cheat, Especially with My Wife, who is a Dirty, Dirty Tramp, I am just Gonna Snap" and I appreciate that said feedback more than you'll ever know. Whether we agree or disagree on any of the issues that I bring up on this here page of words, your responses/insight are much appreciated. Thanks again, and remember, I greet all criticism/praise with arms wide open (in the lead singer of Creed's voice only, of course).
Speaking of douches (see, lead singer of Creed) I've found that there's really nothing more douchey than people who consistently live in the past. This generally comes from people who are old and crusty and can't seem to come to grips with the fact that the world is constantly changing around them to their dismay, but definitely applies to younger people all the same. I'm sure that you've heard the phrase "things were SO much better when I was a kid" more times than you care to remember and I'm positive (myself included), that you've found yourself uttering those same words from time to time. Well, guess what? We're wrong.
I have three younger cousins that are between the ages of five and seven and they are all in the prime of their toy playing/cartoon watching lives, so naturally, in the few times per year that I actually get to see them, I tend to join in on the fun and check out what's going on in their particular demographic that I myself am FAR out of touch with. It seems that when I engage in their toys/movies/clothing/shows and so forth, I instantly begin comparing it to the stuff that I grew up with. I bet without much thought that you can guess which era I favor...
I was born in 1983 and grew up with: "The Smurfs", "He-Man", "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", "Sesame Street", "Ghostbusters", "Fraggle Rock", "Inspector Gadget", "Garfield and Friends", "Pro Stars", "C.O.P.S." (BTW...the "Central Organization of Police Specialists" was/still is my personal favorite), "Mini-Monsters", "Punky Brewster", "RoboCop", "Mario Bros.", "Teen Wolf", "Thundercats", "Transformers", "The Wonder Years", "Saved by the Bell", "David the Gnome", etc., etc. Those shows were the greatest! Not to mention: "The Monster Squad", "Gremlins", "The Goonies", "E.T.", "Stand by Me", "Seinfeld", "Married with Children", "The Simpsons", "Short Circuit", "Never Ending Story", "Back to the Future", and so on, and so on... I challenge ANY era to compile a list of more compelling/entertaining shows and kids movies. ANY!!! Well, guess what? No matter whether you grew up in the 50's, 60's or 70's, you're going to claim YOUR era as being better than mine (even though there is NO possible way!) :-) Even my cousins, who were born in THIS millennium, are going to say that "Cars" and "Wall-E" kick the crap out of "Aladdin" and "The Little Mermaid." It's what THEY'RE growing up on and it's what THEY identify with. Period.
The fact is, no matter what era you spent your childhood in, you look at that particular period of time as the "golden age" because that is when YOU were a kid. It's that simple. Why do we do that, you might ask? Well, think about it. When we were kids, we didn't have anything to worry about. We had no job, no bills, no stress and everything of concern was handled and laid out before us by our parents. My biggest issues growing up were avoiding my homework and trying to stay up as late as possible. I never paid rent. I didn't have to worry about losing my job and waiting in unemployment lines and I sure as hell didn't care what Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush were doing with/to our country. I cared about the Cubs (sadly...I still do), pizza, kissing girls, playing sports and beating Super Mario Bros. No wonder I'm so fond of the 80's!
Even though I look at that decade through rose tinted glasses, the fact of the matter is that the 1980's sucked for the most part. I mean, let's be realistic. The economy was crap (much like today), AIDS was running rampant, we were at war (eerily similar to today), and the fashion was reprehensible. You've all seen/wore the hair styles and neon clothing. Hilarious. It turns out that the "old days" were really never that great (no matter what "old days" you speak of). It works for you too. You say you love the 70's, huh? Fine. Explain the Vietnam war, the Cold War, the economy, Richard Nixon, 70's rock (yuck!), disco (wow), bell bottoms and lava lamps. We're still waiting...yeah, that's what I thought. I'm sorry, but as "far out" as you think it might have been, it simply wasn't. That goes for ANY era you may speak of. It just wasn't as wonderful and innocent as you remember it, and that's OKAY!
Living in the past is no way to live. In fact, it's not really living at all. Think about it. Overall, today kicks the crap out of yesterday! We have the Internet now which is great for all sorts of things like porn, "Webby Files", Chat Roulette, facebook and identity theft! We also get to consume ourselves 24 hours a day with our Blackberrys and/or iPhones. Pretty great, right? Right. How about the fact that the days of lugging around our records/betas/cassettes/CD's are long gone due to today's technology in which we can have thousands and thousands of songs in the palm of our hand? Not bad, if I do say so myself. Not to mention that there's no fear of getting lost anymore (GPS), no interest in "playing against the computer" ever again (online gaming), no reason to actually talk to someone (texting) and we have the pleasure of watching TV picture's that are so in-depth, you can actually count each individual pimple on that chick from the "Twilight" movies' face. All positives in my world! Even when you get into the more serious issues of today, it's improvements across the board. We're far more tolerant/socially aware (but STILL have a ton of work to do) when speaking of minorities/homosexuals/women/the environment/etc. It's really night and day folks.
The reason that old people don't learn how to use computers is because they're scared of them (for lack of a better term). It's the same reason that people still only listen to the music that THEY grew up with. It's also why white people who grew up in an all white neighborhood back in the day tend to not like black people. They're scared of them and the amount of progress that they represent. These are the same people that openly stated in exit polls that they simply "weren't ready for a black president" (whatever the hell that means). We, as a whole, fear change. We don't want gays to marry because we're scared that it will somehow effect OUR marriages (it won't). We don't want to invest in alternative energy/fuel solutions because we're comfortable with the way that our lives run right now (no matter how harmful the results may be). We hated cell phones when they first came out, didn't understand the fascination with HD TV's and we'll NEVER have a facebook page (you will, if you already don't). The funny thing is, if EVERYONE was a conservative who only lived in the past, imagine how horrifyingly different our world would be. We'd still have slavery, women would be viewed as objects with no civil rights, our day to day ways of life would be ridiculously primitive, and there would be no medium to get your "Webby Files" fix!
My advice to everyone...
Stop being a pussy.
Embrace progress/change. Being conservative about everything and completely engulfing yourself into your nostalgic past throws a monkey wrench into what's possible for your/our future. You never know, you may end up enjoying "Chat Roulette." If you don't mind all of the male nudity.
Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to Alkaline Trio's new album "This Addiction." I'm a big fan. Drink of Choice: Coffee. I've been on a Dunkin' Donuts kick lately. Talk to you soon.
Your pal,
Webby
Speaking of douches (see, lead singer of Creed) I've found that there's really nothing more douchey than people who consistently live in the past. This generally comes from people who are old and crusty and can't seem to come to grips with the fact that the world is constantly changing around them to their dismay, but definitely applies to younger people all the same. I'm sure that you've heard the phrase "things were SO much better when I was a kid" more times than you care to remember and I'm positive (myself included), that you've found yourself uttering those same words from time to time. Well, guess what? We're wrong.
I have three younger cousins that are between the ages of five and seven and they are all in the prime of their toy playing/cartoon watching lives, so naturally, in the few times per year that I actually get to see them, I tend to join in on the fun and check out what's going on in their particular demographic that I myself am FAR out of touch with. It seems that when I engage in their toys/movies/clothing/shows and so forth, I instantly begin comparing it to the stuff that I grew up with. I bet without much thought that you can guess which era I favor...
I was born in 1983 and grew up with: "The Smurfs", "He-Man", "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", "Sesame Street", "Ghostbusters", "Fraggle Rock", "Inspector Gadget", "Garfield and Friends", "Pro Stars", "C.O.P.S." (BTW...the "Central Organization of Police Specialists" was/still is my personal favorite), "Mini-Monsters", "Punky Brewster", "RoboCop", "Mario Bros.", "Teen Wolf", "Thundercats", "Transformers", "The Wonder Years", "Saved by the Bell", "David the Gnome", etc., etc. Those shows were the greatest! Not to mention: "The Monster Squad", "Gremlins", "The Goonies", "E.T.", "Stand by Me", "Seinfeld", "Married with Children", "The Simpsons", "Short Circuit", "Never Ending Story", "Back to the Future", and so on, and so on... I challenge ANY era to compile a list of more compelling/entertaining shows and kids movies. ANY!!! Well, guess what? No matter whether you grew up in the 50's, 60's or 70's, you're going to claim YOUR era as being better than mine (even though there is NO possible way!) :-) Even my cousins, who were born in THIS millennium, are going to say that "Cars" and "Wall-E" kick the crap out of "Aladdin" and "The Little Mermaid." It's what THEY'RE growing up on and it's what THEY identify with. Period.
The fact is, no matter what era you spent your childhood in, you look at that particular period of time as the "golden age" because that is when YOU were a kid. It's that simple. Why do we do that, you might ask? Well, think about it. When we were kids, we didn't have anything to worry about. We had no job, no bills, no stress and everything of concern was handled and laid out before us by our parents. My biggest issues growing up were avoiding my homework and trying to stay up as late as possible. I never paid rent. I didn't have to worry about losing my job and waiting in unemployment lines and I sure as hell didn't care what Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush were doing with/to our country. I cared about the Cubs (sadly...I still do), pizza, kissing girls, playing sports and beating Super Mario Bros. No wonder I'm so fond of the 80's!
Even though I look at that decade through rose tinted glasses, the fact of the matter is that the 1980's sucked for the most part. I mean, let's be realistic. The economy was crap (much like today), AIDS was running rampant, we were at war (eerily similar to today), and the fashion was reprehensible. You've all seen/wore the hair styles and neon clothing. Hilarious. It turns out that the "old days" were really never that great (no matter what "old days" you speak of). It works for you too. You say you love the 70's, huh? Fine. Explain the Vietnam war, the Cold War, the economy, Richard Nixon, 70's rock (yuck!), disco (wow), bell bottoms and lava lamps. We're still waiting...yeah, that's what I thought. I'm sorry, but as "far out" as you think it might have been, it simply wasn't. That goes for ANY era you may speak of. It just wasn't as wonderful and innocent as you remember it, and that's OKAY!
Living in the past is no way to live. In fact, it's not really living at all. Think about it. Overall, today kicks the crap out of yesterday! We have the Internet now which is great for all sorts of things like porn, "Webby Files", Chat Roulette, facebook and identity theft! We also get to consume ourselves 24 hours a day with our Blackberrys and/or iPhones. Pretty great, right? Right. How about the fact that the days of lugging around our records/betas/cassettes/CD's are long gone due to today's technology in which we can have thousands and thousands of songs in the palm of our hand? Not bad, if I do say so myself. Not to mention that there's no fear of getting lost anymore (GPS), no interest in "playing against the computer" ever again (online gaming), no reason to actually talk to someone (texting) and we have the pleasure of watching TV picture's that are so in-depth, you can actually count each individual pimple on that chick from the "Twilight" movies' face. All positives in my world! Even when you get into the more serious issues of today, it's improvements across the board. We're far more tolerant/socially aware (but STILL have a ton of work to do) when speaking of minorities/homosexuals/women/the environment/etc. It's really night and day folks.
The reason that old people don't learn how to use computers is because they're scared of them (for lack of a better term). It's the same reason that people still only listen to the music that THEY grew up with. It's also why white people who grew up in an all white neighborhood back in the day tend to not like black people. They're scared of them and the amount of progress that they represent. These are the same people that openly stated in exit polls that they simply "weren't ready for a black president" (whatever the hell that means). We, as a whole, fear change. We don't want gays to marry because we're scared that it will somehow effect OUR marriages (it won't). We don't want to invest in alternative energy/fuel solutions because we're comfortable with the way that our lives run right now (no matter how harmful the results may be). We hated cell phones when they first came out, didn't understand the fascination with HD TV's and we'll NEVER have a facebook page (you will, if you already don't). The funny thing is, if EVERYONE was a conservative who only lived in the past, imagine how horrifyingly different our world would be. We'd still have slavery, women would be viewed as objects with no civil rights, our day to day ways of life would be ridiculously primitive, and there would be no medium to get your "Webby Files" fix!
My advice to everyone...
Stop being a pussy.
Embrace progress/change. Being conservative about everything and completely engulfing yourself into your nostalgic past throws a monkey wrench into what's possible for your/our future. You never know, you may end up enjoying "Chat Roulette." If you don't mind all of the male nudity.
Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to Alkaline Trio's new album "This Addiction." I'm a big fan. Drink of Choice: Coffee. I've been on a Dunkin' Donuts kick lately. Talk to you soon.
Your pal,
Webby
Monday, March 1, 2010
If There is Any Attempt for Either Contestant to Cheat, Especially with My Wife, Who is a Dirty, Dirty Tramp, I am just Gonna Snap.
Hey hey! Today is a big day here at Webby Files HQ. It's the first day of March folks, and this here third month of the calendar year is probably my personal favorite. Not only does it seem to signify the end of the worst part of the winter months, with March, comes better weather, better moods, baseball and the NCAA tournament. Not to mention, longer amounts of daylight, St. Patrick's Day, and finally, a month that we can ALL pronounce (is it Feb-U-ary or Feb-RU-ary?...one will never know). All wonderful things in my book (and I have one hell of a book). Let's just say, these days, all you'll find is smiles around the Webby Files offices!
A friend of mine (and loyal Webby Filesite...thanks for the support brother) sent me a very interesting article the other day that he pulled from CNN.com. All this article did was give me fuel and confirm long lasting suspicions/opinions that I've carried with me for a long time. Now granted, we all know that more often than not you can basically trust a "study" about as far as you can throw it, BUT since this particular study happens to piggy-back/coincide with my personal beliefs, I'm going to go ahead and perceive it as 100% factual. That's how I roll :)
-Evolutionary Psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa has found that political, religious and sexual behaviors are direct reflections of one's intelligence.
Now, let's be honest. I think that if I were to read that headline in front of fifty random people from various economic/ethnic/religious backgrounds, they would unanimously agree that that said statement makes perfect sense to them. An individual's beliefs/opinions on any of the three aforementioned subjects definitely reflects their compositive intelligence. Agreed? Agreed. Cool. Here's where it gets fun (for me...and maybe you?).
Kanazawa found that liberal, atheist and monogamous individuals consistently have higher IQ's than their counterparts. What's that? You mean people who are socially progressive/liberal that don't believe in something as ridiculous as religion, and who's sole purpose isn't to have sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry (or Tonya, Denise and Harriet) are actually SMARTER than conservative/republican, religious sluts/whores/cheaters? Seriously? In Adam Sandler's voice: "I am the smartest man alive!"
Are Mr. Kanazawa's findings really that surprising to you? They're not to me. Think about it. Dating back thousands of years ago, kings/dictators/leaders used religion as a scare tactic to keep their constituents in line so they would never conceivably consider banding together and revolting against their corrupted ways of running things. They knew that by setting these rules and by literally putting "the fear of God" into them, they could basically do whatever they wanted. Take slavery for example. I've never understood why the majority of African-Americans are vowed Christians. It was the white Christians that captured them, took them by ship to America, brainwashed them into believing in Christianity, and then used them as slaves. Yet after all of that, you're STILL going to believe in these people's religion? Wow. Jews and Muslims kill each other every day. Catholics scoff at Scientologists and Mormons for their beliefs, yet every Sunday they drink the "blood of Christ" and eat the "body of Christ" (not to mention they revere the Pope as some kind of supreme being...is it the hat?...AND with that being said, Scientologists and Mormons ARE nuts!) More and more religious people continue to blow themselves up and crash planes into buildings everyday, yet I'm supposed to be surprised that they're not as smart as atheists? Hilarious.
Religion is nothing more than fairy tales used to keep the dumb in line. Period. If you need to feel the comfort of an organized cult (for lack of a better word, even though that is PRECISELY what it is), then more power to you. You have the right and believe me, we can still be friends (not that you'd want to be friends with a "heathen" like myself). Just know that dinosaurs existed (if you believe in the bible, the existence of dinosaurs is a contradiction to your beliefs), there never was an arc that contained two of every species (I shouldn't have to explain this), and NO ONE has ever risen from the dead (if I told you that my grandfather rose from the dead you'd laugh at me and call me crazy, this is no different). Sorry. Hate to break it to you, but people who believe in RATIONALISM are smarter than you. Period. Ben Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Paine, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant (all non-believers) are rolling over in their respective graves knowing that their country is so "God-crazy."
As far as the liberals being smarter than conservatives according to the study. I believe that this directly correlates with the religion aspect. Right-wing conservatives tend to be very religious while left-wing liberals are not. That's why the liberals had higher IQ's in the study. If you took religion out of the equation, I think that you'd find that liberals and conservatives as a whole are equally intelligent. Did I just call conservatives intelligent?
Finally, when it comes to the issue of monogamy, I'm sorry but I just don't have an answer for you. That's right! For the first time in my life, I'm responseless! John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Mark Sanford, John Ensign, John Edwards...ALL very intelligent men. I don't think that anyone would argue with that. They're also ALL unfaithful cheaters who desecrated their respective marriages by acting like man whores. Period. There's really nothing more that I can offer on that subject, because it really doesn't seem to add up. Sorry.
So what did we learn today folks? Well, in my opinion we learned that people who simply won't accept everything that is passed on to them over generations of traditions, and who actually take the time to read/think/learn about history and theology are ABSOLUTELY smarter than those who don't. It's that simple. If you want to be considered an intelligent and functional human being in our society, then BE A FREE THINKER. OPEN YOUR EYES and make this world a better place with your education and rational thought process. Religion is scary, divisive and promotes much more evil (homophobia, racism, sexism, violence) than good. I can't stress that enough. You can still be a very good person without believing in fairy tales. Believe me, millions are doing it.
Thanks for checking out my page of words and again, happy March everybody! Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Bastards of Young" by The Replacements. One of my all-time favorite bands/songs. Drinks of choice: Tacate in a can. We had a Mexican fiesta last night. Always fun.
Ciao,
Webby
A friend of mine (and loyal Webby Filesite...thanks for the support brother) sent me a very interesting article the other day that he pulled from CNN.com. All this article did was give me fuel and confirm long lasting suspicions/opinions that I've carried with me for a long time. Now granted, we all know that more often than not you can basically trust a "study" about as far as you can throw it, BUT since this particular study happens to piggy-back/coincide with my personal beliefs, I'm going to go ahead and perceive it as 100% factual. That's how I roll :)
-Evolutionary Psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa has found that political, religious and sexual behaviors are direct reflections of one's intelligence.
Now, let's be honest. I think that if I were to read that headline in front of fifty random people from various economic/ethnic/religious backgrounds, they would unanimously agree that that said statement makes perfect sense to them. An individual's beliefs/opinions on any of the three aforementioned subjects definitely reflects their compositive intelligence. Agreed? Agreed. Cool. Here's where it gets fun (for me...and maybe you?).
Kanazawa found that liberal, atheist and monogamous individuals consistently have higher IQ's than their counterparts. What's that? You mean people who are socially progressive/liberal that don't believe in something as ridiculous as religion, and who's sole purpose isn't to have sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry (or Tonya, Denise and Harriet) are actually SMARTER than conservative/republican, religious sluts/whores/cheaters? Seriously? In Adam Sandler's voice: "I am the smartest man alive!"
Are Mr. Kanazawa's findings really that surprising to you? They're not to me. Think about it. Dating back thousands of years ago, kings/dictators/leaders used religion as a scare tactic to keep their constituents in line so they would never conceivably consider banding together and revolting against their corrupted ways of running things. They knew that by setting these rules and by literally putting "the fear of God" into them, they could basically do whatever they wanted. Take slavery for example. I've never understood why the majority of African-Americans are vowed Christians. It was the white Christians that captured them, took them by ship to America, brainwashed them into believing in Christianity, and then used them as slaves. Yet after all of that, you're STILL going to believe in these people's religion? Wow. Jews and Muslims kill each other every day. Catholics scoff at Scientologists and Mormons for their beliefs, yet every Sunday they drink the "blood of Christ" and eat the "body of Christ" (not to mention they revere the Pope as some kind of supreme being...is it the hat?...AND with that being said, Scientologists and Mormons ARE nuts!) More and more religious people continue to blow themselves up and crash planes into buildings everyday, yet I'm supposed to be surprised that they're not as smart as atheists? Hilarious.
Religion is nothing more than fairy tales used to keep the dumb in line. Period. If you need to feel the comfort of an organized cult (for lack of a better word, even though that is PRECISELY what it is), then more power to you. You have the right and believe me, we can still be friends (not that you'd want to be friends with a "heathen" like myself). Just know that dinosaurs existed (if you believe in the bible, the existence of dinosaurs is a contradiction to your beliefs), there never was an arc that contained two of every species (I shouldn't have to explain this), and NO ONE has ever risen from the dead (if I told you that my grandfather rose from the dead you'd laugh at me and call me crazy, this is no different). Sorry. Hate to break it to you, but people who believe in RATIONALISM are smarter than you. Period. Ben Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Paine, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant (all non-believers) are rolling over in their respective graves knowing that their country is so "God-crazy."
As far as the liberals being smarter than conservatives according to the study. I believe that this directly correlates with the religion aspect. Right-wing conservatives tend to be very religious while left-wing liberals are not. That's why the liberals had higher IQ's in the study. If you took religion out of the equation, I think that you'd find that liberals and conservatives as a whole are equally intelligent. Did I just call conservatives intelligent?
Finally, when it comes to the issue of monogamy, I'm sorry but I just don't have an answer for you. That's right! For the first time in my life, I'm responseless! John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Mark Sanford, John Ensign, John Edwards...ALL very intelligent men. I don't think that anyone would argue with that. They're also ALL unfaithful cheaters who desecrated their respective marriages by acting like man whores. Period. There's really nothing more that I can offer on that subject, because it really doesn't seem to add up. Sorry.
So what did we learn today folks? Well, in my opinion we learned that people who simply won't accept everything that is passed on to them over generations of traditions, and who actually take the time to read/think/learn about history and theology are ABSOLUTELY smarter than those who don't. It's that simple. If you want to be considered an intelligent and functional human being in our society, then BE A FREE THINKER. OPEN YOUR EYES and make this world a better place with your education and rational thought process. Religion is scary, divisive and promotes much more evil (homophobia, racism, sexism, violence) than good. I can't stress that enough. You can still be a very good person without believing in fairy tales. Believe me, millions are doing it.
Thanks for checking out my page of words and again, happy March everybody! Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Bastards of Young" by The Replacements. One of my all-time favorite bands/songs. Drinks of choice: Tacate in a can. We had a Mexican fiesta last night. Always fun.
Ciao,
Webby
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