Friends, I haven't posted since August. I just started a new job that I absolutely love so far, and I'm 100% ready for Spring/baseball season to begin. I guess the reason that I haven't posted anything in so long is that I've been completely uninspired. Until today.
I am so sick and tired of people telling me that gays shouldn't be married because marriage is a "religious constitution" and "only between a man and a woman" and that by letting gays marry it would be "making a mockery" of the standards of God/religion/The Bible.
Marriage is a "religious constitution" huh? Hmmmmm. You mean the same marriage that was around LONG BEFORE The Bible was written by men? Those same men who thought that it was perfectly fine to marry off their young virgin daughters to disgusting men for gold, silk and cattle? You mean the same marriage that rulers used as nothing more than a show of power and to effectively seal trade deals? You mean the same marriage that back before The Bible was written, husbands looked at their "wives" as nothing more than trophies/property and notches in their corporate ladders? You mean that "religious constitution?" Well that's just fantastic!
If marriage is such a "religious constitution" and you believe in the set standards of marriage according to what's written in The Bible, then why not just shut the middle-man out altogether? Since people don't seem to believe in that whole "ALL men are created equal" nonsense that our civil rights were solely based on, and the government (as biased as it is) should butt out 100% of the time, let's no longer let people get married in courts and government owned/run/operated justices anymore. If marriage is such a "religious constitution" let's just give it to them! Right? Let's ONLY let the churches run and decide who gets married and who doesn't. Let's hold EVERY SINGLE PERSON who wants to marry to the SAME skewed dictation of The Bible. That would mean that NO couple would get any of the 1,200+ benefits that are made available to them by the government when they say their vows.
Oh wait. What's that? Divorce you say? Things just aren't working out anymore in your marriage? Well, sorry about that. Divorce would require lawyers/judges and legal dictation. The government has NOTHING to do with marriage. Remember? You're not allowed to re-marry unless you can prove that your spouse is cheating or has died. Sorry. Have a nice day!
Oh, you say you want to get married but you've already had pre-marital sex. Well you've decreased the value of your commitment haven't you? You'll have to have a third-class marriage. What? You're a married couple that watches pornography? Well now you're just making a mockery of your vows. Lust is sinful, ESPECIALLY lusting after another in your committed state. You're going to have to get on your knees now and repent or be punished!
WHAT?! NO WAY?! YOU'RE MARRIED AND HAVING SEX BUT YOUR SEXUAL ACTIVITY IS NOT MEANT TO REPRODUCE?!!! I'm sorry, but sex is NOT for pleasure you twisted soul! That is a sin and now you're making a complete mockery of your "religious constitution." A woman's vagina is a clown-car baby machine, NOT a toy. Women are property of their husband and NOTHING more. Oh, by the way...you're NOT allowed to touch her during her period either. She must be quarantined because she is unclean.
Oh, before I forget...do you have enough sheep and ~doubloons~ to pay for my virgin daughter? No? Well then you're wasting my time! Get the hell out of here!... ;-)
Yep...that just sounds absolutely wonderful doesn't it? I mean, considering that more than half of the people who constantly whine and bitch about "the mockery of their religious constitution" are the same people who don't even attend church and "rest" on Sundays as The Bible repeatedly tells you that you must do. Sorry. I have to call bullshit. I MUST call bullshit.
How about you "not judge UNLESS ye be judged" and tell us all the REAL reason that you don't want two people of the same gender to wed. We ALL know the answer. You simply don't like the mechanics in which the two of them have sex. Period. You think that it's gross. Well, I can tell you that it's a good thing that we don't live in glass houses my friends because not only would you be forced to watch what they do behind closed doors in the privacy of their own homes, but you'd be killed when you had to swallow all of the shards that you broke from casting your stones.
Just remember, WE ALL live in a nation that is indivisible and ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL...well, just as long as they live their lives according to The Bible...and own enough cattle to pay for that said equality.
I'm out.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Back in '82, I used to be able to Throw a Pigskin a Quarter Mile.
Hello friends. I received a lot of interesting responses from yesterday's entry about the "overrated-ness" of many things in our culture, and as I expected, many AGREED with a good portion of my list (man, what a bunch of cynics!) Thanks to all of you that checked that out.
My girlfriend is back from her eight day vacation in Seattle and from the sound of it, Seattle wasn't quite as impressive as she was led to believe. I myself have never been there, but she was surprised at how dirty the place was and at the volume of homeless people that frequent the downtown area. She loved the surrounding nature outside of the city, and enjoyed the mountains and water, but said that Seattle itself left very little to be desired. I guess that I'm really not that surprised with this assessment. I think that those of us who live in Chicago really take it for granted. Yes, there's NO DOUBT that Chicago has MANY problems of its own, but when it's all said and done Chicago's probably the cleanest big city in the United States.
So I'll be playing my first show as "The Skyfall" this weekend (and my first show since 2004 altogether). I'm playing in Springville, IA (right outside of Iowa City) on Saturday night. I'm pretty excited to get back on stage so to speak, as it's a MAJOR passion of mine. I think that my lack of performing has actually been a little bit of a void in my live over the past few years. It will be good to knock some of the rust off and to get a little bit of "live" feedback from people that have never heard/seen me before. I don't think that I'm really nervous at all, just excited. I need that rush in my life.
I don't know if everyone has this inside of them (maybe we all do, maybe not), but I absolutely have to feel that rush of performing in front of (or for) other people in some capacity. I love playing music, I love doing radio, I even find myself loving this stupid little blog. There's just something about pouring all of your thoughts/ideas/talents (or lack there of) out for others to enjoy/critique/etc. Is this just vanity? Is it just the fact that some of us (me) are douchey enough that we HAVE to be the center of attention and have ALL eyes on us? I'm not sure. I HOPE that that's not what it is. I actually don't really like to be the center of attention in day to day life. I don't really like talking to anyone for that matter, unless I know them. I'd much rather just kind of blend in and let the game come to me in most social situations, but in an "entertainment setting" (stage/radio studio/blogosphere), I truly believe that I'm completely in my element and love feeling that rush that comes with doing something in front of/for other people.
I have always been this way, but at the same time, I wouldn't have been caught dead being involved in anything when I was in High School. I had absolutely ZERO interest in performing in plays/chorus/musicals or anything like that. I did nothing in radio/TV/photography as well, and I guess that my reasoning behind avoiding all of these extra-curricular activities was that I felt that I was "too cool" for any of this stuff. Now I've already mentioned in the past about how I feel that "coolness" is EXTREMELY underrated, but don't you ever wish that you could go back to High School knowing everything that you know now? What an advantage that would be...and on the same token, how stupid/naive were we in High School? Good Lord. I can't even believe how ignorant my views were on the world back then (some would argue that very little has changed).
If I had a second chance, I think that I would approach my view of High School on a completely different level (I know that I probably sound like "Uncle Rico" right now). I would spend ZERO time worrying about my teachers thoughts on: my grades/my attitude/my future/etc. (ALL NON-important issues when you're still in High School), and focus on at least trying every single thing that I even had a remote amount of interest in. I mean, what the hell...right? I'd run for Class President, I'd vie for the starring role in the school play, I'd be a columnist in the school newspaper...I'd even sing in the choir...well, let's not get carried away. Like I said, "coolness" is VERY underrated.
I doubt that I'll be able to type you an entry tomorrow, but I should be back on Monday. Tell a friend about "Webby Files" will ya? Let's make this world a better place one reader at a time (this may have actually been my douchiest entry of them all).
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "The River's Edge" by The Gaslight Anthem. Drinks of Choice: Smithwick's.
Your Pal,
Webby
My girlfriend is back from her eight day vacation in Seattle and from the sound of it, Seattle wasn't quite as impressive as she was led to believe. I myself have never been there, but she was surprised at how dirty the place was and at the volume of homeless people that frequent the downtown area. She loved the surrounding nature outside of the city, and enjoyed the mountains and water, but said that Seattle itself left very little to be desired. I guess that I'm really not that surprised with this assessment. I think that those of us who live in Chicago really take it for granted. Yes, there's NO DOUBT that Chicago has MANY problems of its own, but when it's all said and done Chicago's probably the cleanest big city in the United States.
So I'll be playing my first show as "The Skyfall" this weekend (and my first show since 2004 altogether). I'm playing in Springville, IA (right outside of Iowa City) on Saturday night. I'm pretty excited to get back on stage so to speak, as it's a MAJOR passion of mine. I think that my lack of performing has actually been a little bit of a void in my live over the past few years. It will be good to knock some of the rust off and to get a little bit of "live" feedback from people that have never heard/seen me before. I don't think that I'm really nervous at all, just excited. I need that rush in my life.
I don't know if everyone has this inside of them (maybe we all do, maybe not), but I absolutely have to feel that rush of performing in front of (or for) other people in some capacity. I love playing music, I love doing radio, I even find myself loving this stupid little blog. There's just something about pouring all of your thoughts/ideas/talents (or lack there of) out for others to enjoy/critique/etc. Is this just vanity? Is it just the fact that some of us (me) are douchey enough that we HAVE to be the center of attention and have ALL eyes on us? I'm not sure. I HOPE that that's not what it is. I actually don't really like to be the center of attention in day to day life. I don't really like talking to anyone for that matter, unless I know them. I'd much rather just kind of blend in and let the game come to me in most social situations, but in an "entertainment setting" (stage/radio studio/blogosphere), I truly believe that I'm completely in my element and love feeling that rush that comes with doing something in front of/for other people.
I have always been this way, but at the same time, I wouldn't have been caught dead being involved in anything when I was in High School. I had absolutely ZERO interest in performing in plays/chorus/musicals or anything like that. I did nothing in radio/TV/photography as well, and I guess that my reasoning behind avoiding all of these extra-curricular activities was that I felt that I was "too cool" for any of this stuff. Now I've already mentioned in the past about how I feel that "coolness" is EXTREMELY underrated, but don't you ever wish that you could go back to High School knowing everything that you know now? What an advantage that would be...and on the same token, how stupid/naive were we in High School? Good Lord. I can't even believe how ignorant my views were on the world back then (some would argue that very little has changed).
If I had a second chance, I think that I would approach my view of High School on a completely different level (I know that I probably sound like "Uncle Rico" right now). I would spend ZERO time worrying about my teachers thoughts on: my grades/my attitude/my future/etc. (ALL NON-important issues when you're still in High School), and focus on at least trying every single thing that I even had a remote amount of interest in. I mean, what the hell...right? I'd run for Class President, I'd vie for the starring role in the school play, I'd be a columnist in the school newspaper...I'd even sing in the choir...well, let's not get carried away. Like I said, "coolness" is VERY underrated.
I doubt that I'll be able to type you an entry tomorrow, but I should be back on Monday. Tell a friend about "Webby Files" will ya? Let's make this world a better place one reader at a time (this may have actually been my douchiest entry of them all).
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "The River's Edge" by The Gaslight Anthem. Drinks of Choice: Smithwick's.
Your Pal,
Webby
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Stepped out the House, Stopped Short, Oh no! I went back in, I Forgot my Indo!
Hey, hey. Baseball season officially ended for me last night. The Cubs were pummeled by the Nats at Wrigley and the White Sox are not doing anything close to what all of my Sox fan friends told me that they would do (win series' at Boston and New York...you know, because they beat the good teams and lose to the bad ones). I guess for me that it's officially Cutler time.
Now baseball has been my favorite sport pretty much my entire life, so it really hurts me to say that I'm looking forward to football when we're still in August, but hey, maybe if Sam Zell didn't hold this team hostage for the last ten months, I'd be singing a different tune. Instead I'm just singing "Let's go Bears." (and to think that I was actually GETTING USED TO making the playoffs every season). Too bad.
I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and our conversation gave me an idea for a "Webby Files" topic to share with you. We were discussing how it seems that there are a ton of things out there that we're all basically told that we're supposed to like. We hear about these things in a positive light so often that they just get engraved into your mind to the point where opinion essentially becomes fact, and you just blindly fall in line and agree with everyone else by liking this stuff as well. Whether you're talking about movies/music/food/activities/etc., there are so many things out there where it's basically just "assumed" that everyone likes them, and feels as strongly about liking them as everyone else. Let's UN-blur that line between someone else's opinion and the facts.
Now obviously these are MY opinions, so please feel free to disagree with me at any time...but I guarantee you that you'll agree with a lot of these even if you didn't realize that you would. Here we go...
"Caddyshack" -No matter who is making the list of the top sports movies of all time, "Caddyshack" will AT LEAST be in the top three (usually numero uno). Maybe I just don't get it, but this movie isn't even remotely funny. I'm a big Chevy Chase fan, I don't mind Rodney Dangerfield and I certainly don't mind Bill Murray...but this movie sucks. Don't say that too loud though, you will be attacked by killer meatballs.
Speaking of overrated movies from that era...
"The Blues Brothers" -Now I really pissed you off didn't I?...but be honest, if that movie came out today, you wouldn't like it. It's a musical for God sakes!!! For some reason it is engraved into Chicago culture as a movie that everyone (young and old) has to love...but guess what? I'm ending the love affair. It's a bad movie, and while we're at it, I don't understand the love for John Belushi either. He is an absolute LEGEND, yet he's never made me laugh one time. Throw ol' Johnny on the list as well.
"Nirvana" -But Matt, they changed the face of music back in the early nineties!!!" That's a bunch of B.S. There was PLENTY of great music in the 80's and early 90's. The problem was that the airwaves were hijacked by grunge from Seattle. If Kurt Cobain didn't kill himself, we wouldn't even be talking about Nirvana. I'm glad that he did though, by him pulling the trigger it helped create the "Foo Fighters." Thanks Kurt.
"Sushi" -I don't mind the raw fish (I'm actually quite fond of sashimi), but the fact that sushi is so much of a trend right now that in the city of Chicago there are 8 sushi restaurants with in a four block radius anywhere on the North side completely disgusts me! Sushi rolls are gross. They're essentially raw fish (which is pretty good) covered in mayonnaise (which is disgusting) and then wrapped with seaweed and rice. Yet they feel that it is reasonable to charge an arm and a leg when you'll immediately have to grab a slice of pizza after your meal just to feel some semblance of being full. Ridiculous.
"Family Guy" -Not funny. South Park made fun of this show best. You can't base an entire show on plugging in random flashbacks as your only jokes. It sucks. Yet, for some reason people can't get enough of this cartoon and it's spin offs ("American Dad" and "Cleveland").
"Bar Sing Along Songs" -There are very few more annoying things then when you're at a bar and any one of the following songs comes on: "Livin' on a Prayer", "Sweet Caroline", "Don't Stop Believing", "Take me Home Tonight", "Sweet Home Alabama", "Brown Eyed Girl", "Paradise City", etc., etc. It's frat boy and drunk girl sing along time. I will actually get up and leave an establishment when one of these songs comes on and the entire bar starts singing. These are bad songs by themselves, please don't throw gasoline on the fire.
"Snoop Dogg" -Didn't see this one coming did you? Don't get me wrong, Snoop was a legend back in the early nineties, but guess what? It's 2009, and in my opinion that honeymoon has finally wore off. S-N-double O-P needs to G-O A to the Way. Sorry Dogg Pound Gangstas, I'm not just going to love someone because everyone else does.
How about another unpopular choice...
"Al Pacino" -Yes, every one's FAVORITE actor of all time. I used to love Al Pacino. The "Godfather" movies, "Dog Day Afternoon", "Scent of a Woman"...all great movies. My problem with Pacino is "Where the hell have you been since 1992?!!!" The way I see it, ol' Al has been Mr. Irrelevant going on 18 years. "Heat" was solid, but how about these great releases: "Two Bits", "City Hall", "The Insider", "Any Given Sunday" (Oliver Stone sucks too), "Chinese Coffee", "Insomnia", "People I know", "The Recruit", "Gigli", "The Merchant of Venice", "Two for the Money", "88 Minutes", my God!!! Bad, bad, bad. I recently saw his movie that he did with Robert DeNiro last year called "Righteous Kill." This movie was so unimaginably terrible, that I actually felt sorry for the guy. Did you ever think that you would feel sorry for Michael Corleone? I didn't either. BTW...you can put "Scarface" on the list as well. One of the most overrated movies that I've ever seen (Sorry EVERY rap artist).
"Parades" -Why do people like parades? It's like what comedian Daniel Tosh said, "After you go to a parade you must immediately wash the gay off of you." Hundreds of thousands of people go to Thanksgiving Day parades and St. Patrick's Day parades, and millions more watch this crap on TV. It's people walking in a line, or riding on floats down the middle of the street. It's usually cold outside, and you just stand there and watch. I'd like to meet the individual that started this rumor (that parades are actually fun and everyone should stand on the sidewalks and watch them go by). He/She could probably convince you to do anything!
"UFC/MMA" -This is the absolute HOTTEST thing going right now...and I couldn't be more disinterested. Call me a prude if you must, but I don't really understand the enjoyment that people feel in watching two steroid-induced mongoloids beat the living daylights out of each other. I find it boring, and I find the fans to be just a slight step above NASCAR fans (except you Tim). I CAN'T WAIT for this little trend to go away (and it will).
There are MANY more of these people/movies/activities/etc. that everyone seems to love for some reason. I think that if we all just opened our eyes to how ridiculous a lot of it is, this world would be a MUCH more interesting place to live in. That's all I'm sayin'...
Honorable Mention:
Led Zeppelin
Will Ferrell
Judd Apatow movies
AC/DC
Harry Potter books/Lord of the Rings movies (one in the same)
Joe Namath
Entourage
Twitter
Christmas
Lollapalooza
Yankees vs. Red Sox
The Beach
The Daily Show
Wilco
Dane Cook
Navy Pier
...and so many more.
Let me know what YOU would add to your most overrated things out there. Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. While you're at it, you can check out my music at www.myspace.com/theskyfall. Right now I'm listening to Johnny Cash's cover of Bruce Springsteen's "I'm on Fire." Drinks of Choice: semi-warm coffee.
Peace the F.
Webby
Now baseball has been my favorite sport pretty much my entire life, so it really hurts me to say that I'm looking forward to football when we're still in August, but hey, maybe if Sam Zell didn't hold this team hostage for the last ten months, I'd be singing a different tune. Instead I'm just singing "Let's go Bears." (and to think that I was actually GETTING USED TO making the playoffs every season). Too bad.
I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and our conversation gave me an idea for a "Webby Files" topic to share with you. We were discussing how it seems that there are a ton of things out there that we're all basically told that we're supposed to like. We hear about these things in a positive light so often that they just get engraved into your mind to the point where opinion essentially becomes fact, and you just blindly fall in line and agree with everyone else by liking this stuff as well. Whether you're talking about movies/music/food/activities/etc., there are so many things out there where it's basically just "assumed" that everyone likes them, and feels as strongly about liking them as everyone else. Let's UN-blur that line between someone else's opinion and the facts.
Now obviously these are MY opinions, so please feel free to disagree with me at any time...but I guarantee you that you'll agree with a lot of these even if you didn't realize that you would. Here we go...
"Caddyshack" -No matter who is making the list of the top sports movies of all time, "Caddyshack" will AT LEAST be in the top three (usually numero uno). Maybe I just don't get it, but this movie isn't even remotely funny. I'm a big Chevy Chase fan, I don't mind Rodney Dangerfield and I certainly don't mind Bill Murray...but this movie sucks. Don't say that too loud though, you will be attacked by killer meatballs.
Speaking of overrated movies from that era...
"The Blues Brothers" -Now I really pissed you off didn't I?...but be honest, if that movie came out today, you wouldn't like it. It's a musical for God sakes!!! For some reason it is engraved into Chicago culture as a movie that everyone (young and old) has to love...but guess what? I'm ending the love affair. It's a bad movie, and while we're at it, I don't understand the love for John Belushi either. He is an absolute LEGEND, yet he's never made me laugh one time. Throw ol' Johnny on the list as well.
"Nirvana" -But Matt, they changed the face of music back in the early nineties!!!" That's a bunch of B.S. There was PLENTY of great music in the 80's and early 90's. The problem was that the airwaves were hijacked by grunge from Seattle. If Kurt Cobain didn't kill himself, we wouldn't even be talking about Nirvana. I'm glad that he did though, by him pulling the trigger it helped create the "Foo Fighters." Thanks Kurt.
"Sushi" -I don't mind the raw fish (I'm actually quite fond of sashimi), but the fact that sushi is so much of a trend right now that in the city of Chicago there are 8 sushi restaurants with in a four block radius anywhere on the North side completely disgusts me! Sushi rolls are gross. They're essentially raw fish (which is pretty good) covered in mayonnaise (which is disgusting) and then wrapped with seaweed and rice. Yet they feel that it is reasonable to charge an arm and a leg when you'll immediately have to grab a slice of pizza after your meal just to feel some semblance of being full. Ridiculous.
"Family Guy" -Not funny. South Park made fun of this show best. You can't base an entire show on plugging in random flashbacks as your only jokes. It sucks. Yet, for some reason people can't get enough of this cartoon and it's spin offs ("American Dad" and "Cleveland").
"Bar Sing Along Songs" -There are very few more annoying things then when you're at a bar and any one of the following songs comes on: "Livin' on a Prayer", "Sweet Caroline", "Don't Stop Believing", "Take me Home Tonight", "Sweet Home Alabama", "Brown Eyed Girl", "Paradise City", etc., etc. It's frat boy and drunk girl sing along time. I will actually get up and leave an establishment when one of these songs comes on and the entire bar starts singing. These are bad songs by themselves, please don't throw gasoline on the fire.
"Snoop Dogg" -Didn't see this one coming did you? Don't get me wrong, Snoop was a legend back in the early nineties, but guess what? It's 2009, and in my opinion that honeymoon has finally wore off. S-N-double O-P needs to G-O A to the Way. Sorry Dogg Pound Gangstas, I'm not just going to love someone because everyone else does.
How about another unpopular choice...
"Al Pacino" -Yes, every one's FAVORITE actor of all time. I used to love Al Pacino. The "Godfather" movies, "Dog Day Afternoon", "Scent of a Woman"...all great movies. My problem with Pacino is "Where the hell have you been since 1992?!!!" The way I see it, ol' Al has been Mr. Irrelevant going on 18 years. "Heat" was solid, but how about these great releases: "Two Bits", "City Hall", "The Insider", "Any Given Sunday" (Oliver Stone sucks too), "Chinese Coffee", "Insomnia", "People I know", "The Recruit", "Gigli", "The Merchant of Venice", "Two for the Money", "88 Minutes", my God!!! Bad, bad, bad. I recently saw his movie that he did with Robert DeNiro last year called "Righteous Kill." This movie was so unimaginably terrible, that I actually felt sorry for the guy. Did you ever think that you would feel sorry for Michael Corleone? I didn't either. BTW...you can put "Scarface" on the list as well. One of the most overrated movies that I've ever seen (Sorry EVERY rap artist).
"Parades" -Why do people like parades? It's like what comedian Daniel Tosh said, "After you go to a parade you must immediately wash the gay off of you." Hundreds of thousands of people go to Thanksgiving Day parades and St. Patrick's Day parades, and millions more watch this crap on TV. It's people walking in a line, or riding on floats down the middle of the street. It's usually cold outside, and you just stand there and watch. I'd like to meet the individual that started this rumor (that parades are actually fun and everyone should stand on the sidewalks and watch them go by). He/She could probably convince you to do anything!
"UFC/MMA" -This is the absolute HOTTEST thing going right now...and I couldn't be more disinterested. Call me a prude if you must, but I don't really understand the enjoyment that people feel in watching two steroid-induced mongoloids beat the living daylights out of each other. I find it boring, and I find the fans to be just a slight step above NASCAR fans (except you Tim). I CAN'T WAIT for this little trend to go away (and it will).
There are MANY more of these people/movies/activities/etc. that everyone seems to love for some reason. I think that if we all just opened our eyes to how ridiculous a lot of it is, this world would be a MUCH more interesting place to live in. That's all I'm sayin'...
Honorable Mention:
Led Zeppelin
Will Ferrell
Judd Apatow movies
AC/DC
Harry Potter books/Lord of the Rings movies (one in the same)
Joe Namath
Entourage
Christmas
Lollapalooza
Yankees vs. Red Sox
The Beach
The Daily Show
Wilco
Dane Cook
Navy Pier
...and so many more.
Let me know what YOU would add to your most overrated things out there. Hit me up on facebook or in the comments section of this blog. While you're at it, you can check out my music at www.myspace.com/theskyfall. Right now I'm listening to Johnny Cash's cover of Bruce Springsteen's "I'm on Fire." Drinks of Choice: semi-warm coffee.
Peace the F.
Webby
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
You want a Toe? I can get you a Toe, Believe Me. There are Ways Dude. Hell, I can get You a Toe by 3 O'clock this Afternoon...with Nail Polish.
Friends, good morning. It's a beautiful summer day in Chicago and I'm enjoying my coffee as if I was Walter Sobchak sitting at a diner after I was nearly thrown out. (Sigh), I love "The Big Lebowski." On a serious note...what an amazing thing coffee is. It's no doubt an acquired taste (I don't know anyone under the age of 16 that enjoys it), but once you've worked your first forty-hour week, you pretty much can't live without those ground down coffee beans and hot water. Thank you great nation of Columbia. Delicious.
So did you hear that Michael Jackson was actually murdered? I guess you could call it that. Yes, it sounds like his personal physician was pumping him full of different prescriptions, and yes, that violates his patient/doctor responsibilities, but I'd hardly call this a "tragedy." If my doctor gave me a laundry list of pills to take when I wasn't actually sick, I may consider questioning his intentions, and I'd probably end up seeking a second opinion. That's just me. If I'm rich/famous/powerful, I'm not going to blindly swallow an infinite amount of capsules just because some doctor prescribed them to me. You've gotta keep your head on a swivel these days. If you have money, someone else is trying to get it from you. That's just the way it is. These are the ONLY situations where it's advantageous to be broke like me. Nobody EVER leaches on to the guy with shallow pockets. It's bad business.
As far as being addicted to prescription drugs goes...I'm sorry. I have very little sympathy for you. Did you ever think that maybe the prescription drugs that you pop everyday could possibly be even worse for you than whatever it is that is causing your pain in the first place? My philosophy on drugs (prescription or non-prescription)/vitamins/chiropractors/etc., is this: The human body is a pretty powerful/wonderful thing, if you let your body NATURALLY fight off infection/illness/pain/etc., not only will it generally succeed, but it will create an even stronger immunity to whatever was harming you for the future. Obviously, there are serious diseases/injuries/etc., that need immediate medical attention. Your body can't just heal cancer on its own, but I'm willing to bet that a VERY high percentage of people that take antibiotics or even Tylenol everyday, take it for NON-serious issues.
There are simple observations that I have made throughout my limited time on this planet that have led me to these conclusions. For example: Have you ever met ANYONE that has only gone to the chiropractor ONCE? I haven't. People talk about how their back felt "out of place," so they went to the chiropractor and had them re-adjust their entire spine. Immediately, they felt relief. Cool. The problem is that two weeks later, their back felt even more out of place so of course, they had to go back. Now Mr. chiropractor has you hooked like a drug dealer would. He's the ONLY one who can give you that "relief" that you're looking for, but guess what? It only lasts for so long, so naturally you'll have to come back and pay more money for your fix. I'm on to you chiropractors.
How about people that constantly go to the doctor for every little thing, or those who take a couple of aspirin everyday for their constant headaches? What is that busy doctor going to give you when you come in? Not attention, we know that. These are busy dudes. Since he can't give you the proper attention that you deserve, he's simply just going to look up in his little medical book whatever drug that applies to your particular issue, and scribble out a prescription. All this drug will do is cover up the pain until the next time. Then you'll be right back to see Dr. Howser.
My favorite are the commercials for all of those prescription drugs out there. "Do you have "restless leg syndrome?" If so, don't deal with that embarrassing shaking leg anymore! Just take two of these Zykillacon's per day, and you'll be as still as a portrait...side effects include: runny nose, migraines, syphilis, dysentery, AIDS, the black plague..." People don't actually buy these do they? I guess they must. Somebody is paying for all of that advertising.
Look, I'm no health care expert. Hell, I'm not really an expert on ANYTHING! I just know that the human body is pretty amazing. When you feel pain in a certain area, it's generally just your body telling you that you're doing something harmful to it. Instead of covering up those warning signs that your body is giving you by taking prescription drugs, why don't you just change up your daily routine? If your back hurts, there's a logical reason for it. Maybe your bodily structure is not built to carry 320 LBS? Instead of running to the chiropractor and/or taking pain medication everyday, why don't you lose some weight? I guarantee you that your back will thank you. What's that you say? You're NOT overweight but you still have back pain? OK. My guess would be that your body is telling you that it's time to quit your job as a concrete worker. I know that this is not always logical, but guess what? You only have one body. Would you rather look into possibly working in a different aspect of your company that doesn't require as much physical labor, or be a hunch back in a wheel chair during your twilight years? It's your decision I guess. I plan on being a pain in the ass when I'm old and retired. Hard to do that when you can't even stand up.
There's almost always an explanation for everything. If you have constant headaches, don't take aspirin everyday to mask the pain, consider cutting caffeine out of your diet (I'm saying this as I'm pounding my second cup of coffee this morning...but hey, I haven't had a non-alcohol related headache in my entire life). If you need more vitamin A,B,C or D in your diet, don't pop over-the-counter vitamins. Get out in the sun, eat fresh fruits and vegetables and get your nutrients NATURALLY. Not only does this stuff taste a MILLION times better than the processed junk that most Americans consume, it's better for you as well. And my favorite...if you have a restless leg that is annoying in public situations, and even prevents you or your spouse from sleeping...guess what your leg is telling you? Get off of your ass and run!!! If you're not pounding energy drinks everyday, and you get out and play some basketball or run on the treadmill, you'll be amazed at how quickly that restless leg goes away. There's no such thing as A.D.D. Hell, I have a short attention span when I'm doing something that I'm not interested in. Parents who pump their kids full of pills for being hyper or non-attentive should be PUT IN JAIL. Your kid doesn't need Ritalin, he needs a better teacher, a decaffeinated diet, and less video games/more sports and outdoor activities! It's that simple.
These issues are something that I feel very strongly about. Next time that you're popping a Tylenol for pain in your wrist, or going to the chiropractor, or considering methods to calm down your hyper child, please think of Michael Jackson or Rush Limbaugh or even Brett Favre. Hell, think of every time someone makes you mad by "half-assing" something to get results. Remember, sweeping things under the rug NEVER makes your house clean. Get the vacuum cleaner out, and stop being so lazy.
Wow. I'm like Dr. Phil (except not overweight, Texan, or an assclown...my opinion I guess).
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to a little Ben E. King. Yes. Drinks of Choice: the gourmet shit that Jimmie bought because when he drinks it, he wants to taste it.
Cheers,
Webby
So did you hear that Michael Jackson was actually murdered? I guess you could call it that. Yes, it sounds like his personal physician was pumping him full of different prescriptions, and yes, that violates his patient/doctor responsibilities, but I'd hardly call this a "tragedy." If my doctor gave me a laundry list of pills to take when I wasn't actually sick, I may consider questioning his intentions, and I'd probably end up seeking a second opinion. That's just me. If I'm rich/famous/powerful, I'm not going to blindly swallow an infinite amount of capsules just because some doctor prescribed them to me. You've gotta keep your head on a swivel these days. If you have money, someone else is trying to get it from you. That's just the way it is. These are the ONLY situations where it's advantageous to be broke like me. Nobody EVER leaches on to the guy with shallow pockets. It's bad business.
As far as being addicted to prescription drugs goes...I'm sorry. I have very little sympathy for you. Did you ever think that maybe the prescription drugs that you pop everyday could possibly be even worse for you than whatever it is that is causing your pain in the first place? My philosophy on drugs (prescription or non-prescription)/vitamins/chiropractors/etc., is this: The human body is a pretty powerful/wonderful thing, if you let your body NATURALLY fight off infection/illness/pain/etc., not only will it generally succeed, but it will create an even stronger immunity to whatever was harming you for the future. Obviously, there are serious diseases/injuries/etc., that need immediate medical attention. Your body can't just heal cancer on its own, but I'm willing to bet that a VERY high percentage of people that take antibiotics or even Tylenol everyday, take it for NON-serious issues.
There are simple observations that I have made throughout my limited time on this planet that have led me to these conclusions. For example: Have you ever met ANYONE that has only gone to the chiropractor ONCE? I haven't. People talk about how their back felt "out of place," so they went to the chiropractor and had them re-adjust their entire spine. Immediately, they felt relief. Cool. The problem is that two weeks later, their back felt even more out of place so of course, they had to go back. Now Mr. chiropractor has you hooked like a drug dealer would. He's the ONLY one who can give you that "relief" that you're looking for, but guess what? It only lasts for so long, so naturally you'll have to come back and pay more money for your fix. I'm on to you chiropractors.
How about people that constantly go to the doctor for every little thing, or those who take a couple of aspirin everyday for their constant headaches? What is that busy doctor going to give you when you come in? Not attention, we know that. These are busy dudes. Since he can't give you the proper attention that you deserve, he's simply just going to look up in his little medical book whatever drug that applies to your particular issue, and scribble out a prescription. All this drug will do is cover up the pain until the next time. Then you'll be right back to see Dr. Howser.
My favorite are the commercials for all of those prescription drugs out there. "Do you have "restless leg syndrome?" If so, don't deal with that embarrassing shaking leg anymore! Just take two of these Zykillacon's per day, and you'll be as still as a portrait...side effects include: runny nose, migraines, syphilis, dysentery, AIDS, the black plague..." People don't actually buy these do they? I guess they must. Somebody is paying for all of that advertising.
Look, I'm no health care expert. Hell, I'm not really an expert on ANYTHING! I just know that the human body is pretty amazing. When you feel pain in a certain area, it's generally just your body telling you that you're doing something harmful to it. Instead of covering up those warning signs that your body is giving you by taking prescription drugs, why don't you just change up your daily routine? If your back hurts, there's a logical reason for it. Maybe your bodily structure is not built to carry 320 LBS? Instead of running to the chiropractor and/or taking pain medication everyday, why don't you lose some weight? I guarantee you that your back will thank you. What's that you say? You're NOT overweight but you still have back pain? OK. My guess would be that your body is telling you that it's time to quit your job as a concrete worker. I know that this is not always logical, but guess what? You only have one body. Would you rather look into possibly working in a different aspect of your company that doesn't require as much physical labor, or be a hunch back in a wheel chair during your twilight years? It's your decision I guess. I plan on being a pain in the ass when I'm old and retired. Hard to do that when you can't even stand up.
There's almost always an explanation for everything. If you have constant headaches, don't take aspirin everyday to mask the pain, consider cutting caffeine out of your diet (I'm saying this as I'm pounding my second cup of coffee this morning...but hey, I haven't had a non-alcohol related headache in my entire life). If you need more vitamin A,B,C or D in your diet, don't pop over-the-counter vitamins. Get out in the sun, eat fresh fruits and vegetables and get your nutrients NATURALLY. Not only does this stuff taste a MILLION times better than the processed junk that most Americans consume, it's better for you as well. And my favorite...if you have a restless leg that is annoying in public situations, and even prevents you or your spouse from sleeping...guess what your leg is telling you? Get off of your ass and run!!! If you're not pounding energy drinks everyday, and you get out and play some basketball or run on the treadmill, you'll be amazed at how quickly that restless leg goes away. There's no such thing as A.D.D. Hell, I have a short attention span when I'm doing something that I'm not interested in. Parents who pump their kids full of pills for being hyper or non-attentive should be PUT IN JAIL. Your kid doesn't need Ritalin, he needs a better teacher, a decaffeinated diet, and less video games/more sports and outdoor activities! It's that simple.
These issues are something that I feel very strongly about. Next time that you're popping a Tylenol for pain in your wrist, or going to the chiropractor, or considering methods to calm down your hyper child, please think of Michael Jackson or Rush Limbaugh or even Brett Favre. Hell, think of every time someone makes you mad by "half-assing" something to get results. Remember, sweeping things under the rug NEVER makes your house clean. Get the vacuum cleaner out, and stop being so lazy.
Wow. I'm like Dr. Phil (except not overweight, Texan, or an assclown...my opinion I guess).
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to a little Ben E. King. Yes. Drinks of Choice: the gourmet shit that Jimmie bought because when he drinks it, he wants to taste it.
Cheers,
Webby
Monday, August 24, 2009
If You ever wanna Eat a Sauerkraut Sandwich again take Your Wiener Schnitzel Lickin' Finger and Point out on this Map what I wanna Know.
Hello friends. I hope that you had a good weekend. My weekend consisted of watching a movie and exercising more in two days than I probably have in the last two months combined. T'was a good couple of days for me.
As far as the exercising went, I'm not big into lifting weights, jogging (or is it yogging?), or any kind of calisthenics for that matter. I find going to the gym to be about as boring as any activity that there is out there. I seem to get very little out of it, and I absolutely dread the idea of consistently doing these activities multiple times per week. That being said, I'm getting to the age where if I decide to not do anything active at all for long periods of time, I'll slowly (but surely) turn into a lard ass. Probably not the greatest idea (you know, if you're into the whole dating members of the opposite sex thing, and living past the age of 50). So I guess that you just have to find alternative methods of getting your exercise. For me...sports.
I played about 10 games of basketball this weekend, 3 games of softball and I swam a bit as well. It felt good to be active, and I'm hoping that my shot slowly begins to come back on the court, because my outside shooting performance was pretty embarrassing out there. Hopefully it's like riding a bike, because I shot about 20% from outside, when I used to be a fairly consistent shooter as a youngster. We'll see. Hopefully basketball is not like golf where the more you practice, the worse you get (maybe that's just me?)
For as fun as playing softball under the lights or getting a bunch of hoops in over the weekend was for me, seeing Quentin Tarantino's new movie "Inglourious Basterds" absolutely took the cake. Wow. What a masterpiece. It's very rare that I go into something with the kind of expectations that I had and walk away completely satisfied like I did on Friday night. For me, it was one of those movies that I wanted to see again immediately after leaving the theater. I ended up going to this as kind of a "man-date" with four of my buddies (never cool under ANY circumstance, true...BUT, "Inglourious Basterds" probably isn't the type of movie that you take your girlfriend to either). Anyway, when we left the theater, three of us loved the movie (me included), one of us fell asleep but said that he liked what he saw (I'll give him a pass because the movie didn't start until 1AM, and it was a long one), and the other one of us said that he "didn't understand the message that Tarantino was trying to send." This last comment pissed me off.
The next day I still had the movie fresh on my mind and when I saw one of my buddies that had seen it as well, we were reciting our favorite lines and putting the movie up on the pedestal that it so richly deserves. He then told me that a Jewish friend of ours said that he will NOT see the movie because "He simply doesn't watch "Jewish Fantasies." What!!! Now I'm finding myself being really disgusted with some of the people that I know.
Don't get me wrong...everyone has the right to their opinion. If you don't like something, that's fine. I'm not going to judge you for it. We all have different tastes and that's what makes this world of ours so interesting at times. Not everyone is the exact same. My problem is simply this: For example...if you watched "Inglourious Basterds" and then told me that you just really didn't like the movie...cool. I'm not going to agree with you, but hey...that's your opinion. I can live with that. Not everyone likes everything that I like, and that's fine. Just don't tell me, "I won't even give it a chance because I don't watch Jewish Fantasies." By saying that, you're an idiot. First of all, this is NOT a "Jewish Fantasy" (You wouldn't know that, because you HAVEN'T seen it!) But even if it was, why would you deprive yourself of the possibility of enjoying something just to live by your stupid ideals that are meaningless and serve absolutely NO purpose? It's idiotic.
A good example of this is the fact that I don't like tomatoes. I don't. I think that tomatoes are disgusting. A lot of people would disagree with me, but that's my opinion. What if I was like the asshole that didn't like "Jewish Fantasies" and said something like "Since I don't like tomatoes, then I'm NOT going to ever try pizza?" First of all, I'd be an idiot (not unlike our "Jewish Fantasy Hater") but I'd also not knowingly deprive myself of my favorite food, simply because I was trying to impress you by being some sort of righteous individual when in reality, I'm just being a moron. For some reason everyone has to be "Mr. Contrarian" to everything these days instead of actually giving something a chance and then giving an INFORMED opinion about the matter. It's stupid, and it's completely backwards.
I mentioned earlier that one of my friends that saw the movie with me said that he "Just didn't understand the message that Tarantino was trying to send." This is ALMOST as stupid as the "I don't watch Jewish Fantasies" comment. Who cares what Tarantino's message was!!! This isn't the "Cosby show." You shouldn't need a message and you shouldn't need everything to be wrapped up into a bow either. It's a MOVIE. It's made to entertain us. Watch the movie, and then either love it, hate it, or consider it to be average and then move on with your day. Good God. Let's stop trying to be "Captain Philosopher" and start enjoying our lives a little bit.
I know that 99% of the people that saw "Inglourious Basterds" will, even though it was just a stupid "Jewish Fantasy." Moron.
Hit me up on facebook. www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Having a Party" by Sam Cooke. You probably love this song unless you won't listen to "party fantasies from the early sixties." Drinks of Choice: vodka lemonades to refresh my mind until this evening.
Peace the F.
Webby
As far as the exercising went, I'm not big into lifting weights, jogging (or is it yogging?), or any kind of calisthenics for that matter. I find going to the gym to be about as boring as any activity that there is out there. I seem to get very little out of it, and I absolutely dread the idea of consistently doing these activities multiple times per week. That being said, I'm getting to the age where if I decide to not do anything active at all for long periods of time, I'll slowly (but surely) turn into a lard ass. Probably not the greatest idea (you know, if you're into the whole dating members of the opposite sex thing, and living past the age of 50). So I guess that you just have to find alternative methods of getting your exercise. For me...sports.
I played about 10 games of basketball this weekend, 3 games of softball and I swam a bit as well. It felt good to be active, and I'm hoping that my shot slowly begins to come back on the court, because my outside shooting performance was pretty embarrassing out there. Hopefully it's like riding a bike, because I shot about 20% from outside, when I used to be a fairly consistent shooter as a youngster. We'll see. Hopefully basketball is not like golf where the more you practice, the worse you get (maybe that's just me?)
For as fun as playing softball under the lights or getting a bunch of hoops in over the weekend was for me, seeing Quentin Tarantino's new movie "Inglourious Basterds" absolutely took the cake. Wow. What a masterpiece. It's very rare that I go into something with the kind of expectations that I had and walk away completely satisfied like I did on Friday night. For me, it was one of those movies that I wanted to see again immediately after leaving the theater. I ended up going to this as kind of a "man-date" with four of my buddies (never cool under ANY circumstance, true...BUT, "Inglourious Basterds" probably isn't the type of movie that you take your girlfriend to either). Anyway, when we left the theater, three of us loved the movie (me included), one of us fell asleep but said that he liked what he saw (I'll give him a pass because the movie didn't start until 1AM, and it was a long one), and the other one of us said that he "didn't understand the message that Tarantino was trying to send." This last comment pissed me off.
The next day I still had the movie fresh on my mind and when I saw one of my buddies that had seen it as well, we were reciting our favorite lines and putting the movie up on the pedestal that it so richly deserves. He then told me that a Jewish friend of ours said that he will NOT see the movie because "He simply doesn't watch "Jewish Fantasies." What!!! Now I'm finding myself being really disgusted with some of the people that I know.
Don't get me wrong...everyone has the right to their opinion. If you don't like something, that's fine. I'm not going to judge you for it. We all have different tastes and that's what makes this world of ours so interesting at times. Not everyone is the exact same. My problem is simply this: For example...if you watched "Inglourious Basterds" and then told me that you just really didn't like the movie...cool. I'm not going to agree with you, but hey...that's your opinion. I can live with that. Not everyone likes everything that I like, and that's fine. Just don't tell me, "I won't even give it a chance because I don't watch Jewish Fantasies." By saying that, you're an idiot. First of all, this is NOT a "Jewish Fantasy" (You wouldn't know that, because you HAVEN'T seen it!) But even if it was, why would you deprive yourself of the possibility of enjoying something just to live by your stupid ideals that are meaningless and serve absolutely NO purpose? It's idiotic.
A good example of this is the fact that I don't like tomatoes. I don't. I think that tomatoes are disgusting. A lot of people would disagree with me, but that's my opinion. What if I was like the asshole that didn't like "Jewish Fantasies" and said something like "Since I don't like tomatoes, then I'm NOT going to ever try pizza?" First of all, I'd be an idiot (not unlike our "Jewish Fantasy Hater") but I'd also not knowingly deprive myself of my favorite food, simply because I was trying to impress you by being some sort of righteous individual when in reality, I'm just being a moron. For some reason everyone has to be "Mr. Contrarian" to everything these days instead of actually giving something a chance and then giving an INFORMED opinion about the matter. It's stupid, and it's completely backwards.
I mentioned earlier that one of my friends that saw the movie with me said that he "Just didn't understand the message that Tarantino was trying to send." This is ALMOST as stupid as the "I don't watch Jewish Fantasies" comment. Who cares what Tarantino's message was!!! This isn't the "Cosby show." You shouldn't need a message and you shouldn't need everything to be wrapped up into a bow either. It's a MOVIE. It's made to entertain us. Watch the movie, and then either love it, hate it, or consider it to be average and then move on with your day. Good God. Let's stop trying to be "Captain Philosopher" and start enjoying our lives a little bit.
I know that 99% of the people that saw "Inglourious Basterds" will, even though it was just a stupid "Jewish Fantasy." Moron.
Hit me up on facebook. www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Having a Party" by Sam Cooke. You probably love this song unless you won't listen to "party fantasies from the early sixties." Drinks of Choice: vodka lemonades to refresh my mind until this evening.
Peace the F.
Webby
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I will Strike Down upon Thee with Great Vengeance and Furious Anger, and You will know My Name is the Lord when I Lay My Vengeance upon Thee!
Hey, hey. The Cubs won a ball game last night! Yay!!! They improved their record to (1-5) at San Diego this year (a last place team that traded away their top pitcher, while their second best pitcher, Chris Young, is out for the season due to injury). The White Sox came back after losing game 2 to the Royals (they probably should have lost game 1 as well to this particular last place team) and won yesterday at The Cell, taking two out of three in the series. So at least our two under-achieving baseball teams were on the winning side of the equation together for one day. We shall see if that continues tonight. My guess...it won't.
Don't you just love it when people act surprised about something negative that happens to someone who has a "checkered past" when EVERYONE knew that it was going to happen at some point simply because of that person's track record? There are many examples of this. I'm reading today that the Memphis college basketball team will have it's 38 win season and Final Four berth back in 2007-08 erased from the record books due to NCAA violations (Derrick Rose). Not only are the people of Memphis devastated/shocked with this news, the people of Kentucky, who just hired Coach Calipari, are scratching their heads as well. What??? You knew that that man was cheating at Memphis, but you sold your soul anyway and now you're going to have to deal with it! Not only did you know (University of Kentucky), the University of Memphis knew exactly what they were dealing with as well. You all remember Coach Cal's UMass team back in 1996 led by All-American Marcus Camby don't you? Their Final Four run has been erased from the record books as well (let's be honest, we ALL knew something was up when under any circumstance you can convince the top high school recruit in the country to come to the University of Massachusetts...not Duke, UNC, UCLA, UConn, etc....but UMass). I can't wait for the first round of sanctions that come down on the Wildcats. My guess, within three seasons. It's going to be great.
How about the Milton Bradley signing? I know that the subject has been beaten to death, but again...EVERYONE knew that this was a bad signing. EVERYONE knew that this guy was a bad teammate, and came with a ton of baggage. We also knew that he was coming off of a career year that would be extremely unlikely for him to duplicate, but instead of taking all of these facts into consideration and pursuing other avenues (Ibanez, Dunn, Abreu), Bradley's entire track record was completely IGNORED by Jim Hendry. Don't you dare tell me that we're losing because of the fact that some of our players (Milton Bradley) just aren't putting up the type of numbers that they were expected to put up. Just deal with your powerless .260 hitting right fielder who happens to make $10 million a season for the next three years just like the rest of us have to. We ALL saw this coming, where were you? Wow.
How about this example: Have you ever seen the show "Jon and Kate Plus 8?" If you haven't, you're not missing anything. The problem for me is that it happens to be my girlfriend's favorite show. Which basically means that it's my favorite show (even though I hate it...it's constantly on). It's kind of like what "Jules" says in "Pulp Fiction": "You ever tried a "Big Kahuna" burger? If you like burgers, give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegetarian which pretty much makes me...a vegetarian." Well, my girlfriend loves "Jon and Kate Plus 8" which pretty much makes me love "Jon and Kate Plus 8." Anyway, 'ol Jon and Katey are getting a very public and messy divorce right now and are blaming the paparazzi and their lack of privacy, among other things, as the main reasons for the demise of their marriage. You can't be serious? First of all...the way I see it, they should be put in jail for taking fertility pills after they ALREADY had twins which of course, caused them to have six more babies...but that's beside the point. ANY parents that are sick enough to exploit their own children's childhoods by putting their faces on reality TV to make a few bucks, get EVERYTHING that they deserve. You sold your soul to the "TLC" channel, and it cost you your marriage. Deal with the decisions that you make. Everyone else has to, and EVERYONE else knew that ANYONE who puts their lives on television, ends up ruining their lives just as quickly as they take the money that comes with it. Quit your crying.
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see how these kids end up turning out. I think that there's five girls and three boys in the bunch. What's the over/under on strippers that come out of this litter? It's like Chris Rock said, "A dad's #1 job is to keep his daughter OFF THE POLE!" Expose them to fame when they didn't do anything to deserve/desire it, and you're generally sending them right down the path of the wild/slutty/drug attic variety...probably NOT "off the pole" if you ask me.
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Paris in September" by Noise by Numbers. Chicago all-star band. Drinks of Choice: Starting the day with coffee, finishing with...?
Take care,
Webby
Don't you just love it when people act surprised about something negative that happens to someone who has a "checkered past" when EVERYONE knew that it was going to happen at some point simply because of that person's track record? There are many examples of this. I'm reading today that the Memphis college basketball team will have it's 38 win season and Final Four berth back in 2007-08 erased from the record books due to NCAA violations (Derrick Rose). Not only are the people of Memphis devastated/shocked with this news, the people of Kentucky, who just hired Coach Calipari, are scratching their heads as well. What??? You knew that that man was cheating at Memphis, but you sold your soul anyway and now you're going to have to deal with it! Not only did you know (University of Kentucky), the University of Memphis knew exactly what they were dealing with as well. You all remember Coach Cal's UMass team back in 1996 led by All-American Marcus Camby don't you? Their Final Four run has been erased from the record books as well (let's be honest, we ALL knew something was up when under any circumstance you can convince the top high school recruit in the country to come to the University of Massachusetts...not Duke, UNC, UCLA, UConn, etc....but UMass). I can't wait for the first round of sanctions that come down on the Wildcats. My guess, within three seasons. It's going to be great.
How about the Milton Bradley signing? I know that the subject has been beaten to death, but again...EVERYONE knew that this was a bad signing. EVERYONE knew that this guy was a bad teammate, and came with a ton of baggage. We also knew that he was coming off of a career year that would be extremely unlikely for him to duplicate, but instead of taking all of these facts into consideration and pursuing other avenues (Ibanez, Dunn, Abreu), Bradley's entire track record was completely IGNORED by Jim Hendry. Don't you dare tell me that we're losing because of the fact that some of our players (Milton Bradley) just aren't putting up the type of numbers that they were expected to put up. Just deal with your powerless .260 hitting right fielder who happens to make $10 million a season for the next three years just like the rest of us have to. We ALL saw this coming, where were you? Wow.
How about this example: Have you ever seen the show "Jon and Kate Plus 8?" If you haven't, you're not missing anything. The problem for me is that it happens to be my girlfriend's favorite show. Which basically means that it's my favorite show (even though I hate it...it's constantly on). It's kind of like what "Jules" says in "Pulp Fiction": "You ever tried a "Big Kahuna" burger? If you like burgers, give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegetarian which pretty much makes me...a vegetarian." Well, my girlfriend loves "Jon and Kate Plus 8" which pretty much makes me love "Jon and Kate Plus 8." Anyway, 'ol Jon and Katey are getting a very public and messy divorce right now and are blaming the paparazzi and their lack of privacy, among other things, as the main reasons for the demise of their marriage. You can't be serious? First of all...the way I see it, they should be put in jail for taking fertility pills after they ALREADY had twins which of course, caused them to have six more babies...but that's beside the point. ANY parents that are sick enough to exploit their own children's childhoods by putting their faces on reality TV to make a few bucks, get EVERYTHING that they deserve. You sold your soul to the "TLC" channel, and it cost you your marriage. Deal with the decisions that you make. Everyone else has to, and EVERYONE else knew that ANYONE who puts their lives on television, ends up ruining their lives just as quickly as they take the money that comes with it. Quit your crying.
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see how these kids end up turning out. I think that there's five girls and three boys in the bunch. What's the over/under on strippers that come out of this litter? It's like Chris Rock said, "A dad's #1 job is to keep his daughter OFF THE POLE!" Expose them to fame when they didn't do anything to deserve/desire it, and you're generally sending them right down the path of the wild/slutty/drug attic variety...probably NOT "off the pole" if you ask me.
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Paris in September" by Noise by Numbers. Chicago all-star band. Drinks of Choice: Starting the day with coffee, finishing with...?
Take care,
Webby
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wait 'Til Next Year
Hello again. Sorry for posting so late in the day. I'm swallowed in depression right now as we inexplicably lost in our radio league championship softball game last night 8-7 in 9 innings (we normally play seven...so obviously, we went extras). It was our strangest game of the season too (of course, we pick the championship game for our weirdest performance of the year).
We were the home team due to our higher seed in the tournament, so we took the field first. They scored three runs in the inning without hitting the ball square one time (I know that I probably sound like Hawk right now, but it's the truth). We walked two batters, made two errors, and they had two bloop hits that fell in between second base and the right fielder. Not a good way to start the ball game, but we were the best hitting team in that league during the regular season/playoffs so there was NO doubt in my mind that we would bounce right back with some runs of our own...and that's exactly what we did.
We answered right back with three runs in the bottom half of the first to tie the ball game back up (not to mention, we were actually hitting line drives all over the field compared to their duck snorts). All right. Back to zero-zero. When we took the field in the 2nd inning tied up, I just knew that we were going to start putting zeros on the board defensively, and guess what? They went scoreless for the next four straight innings. We were lock down in the field. Now, holding a team to four straight scoreless innings in a baseball game is good, but it's not that big of a deal. Holding a team scoreless for four straight innings in 16" softball, is pretty unheard of. Especially when you do it against the caliber of team that would be playing in a championship game.
So, I'm sure that you're thinking...How could you lose the ball game when you were tied at 3-3 and then held them scoreless for four straight innings? Well, I'll tell you how. They held US scoreless for four straight innings as well! We couldn't believe it. They made ZERO errors in the field, and made some spectacular plays too. Not to mention, we stopped hitting with runners in scoring position (not unlike your Chicago Cubs...I wasn't going to mention them today, but what can you do?), and had some base running blunders as well. We had a base runner get hit in the leg by a ground ball between 2nd and 3rd that cost us two runs, and I got thrown out at the plate trying to score from second on a single to left field. So there you have it. A championship game in a 16" softball league is tied at 3-3 heading into the top of the 6th of Seven innings.
All of a sudden, we completely imploded. Our infield (which had been making great plays all game long) started booting the ball around the field and our pitcher started walking their girls (I know that it sounds sexist, but anyone that's ever played co-ed 16" softball knows that a girl is an easy out 100% of the time. You CAN'T walk them). So they ended up breaking the 3-3 tie with a four run 6th inning, and seemingly blowing the game wide open in the process as we had just six outs left to work with.
In the bottom of the sixth, we loaded the bases with nobody out. We scored one run on an RBI ground out. Then I scored from third on a sacrifice fly cutting the lead to 7-5. That ended our scoring in that inning as we wasted a golden opportunity by only scoring two runs with the sacks packed and zero outs (White Sox style). We came back and shut them down 1-2-3 in the top of the 7th, and headed into the bottom of the inning needing two to tie, three to win. Our first batter ended up grounding out, but then the next two hitters reached base and we were able to tie the ball game on another RBI ground out sending this championship game into extras.
Again (for the sixth inning of this nine inning ball game) we shut them out in the 8th and took the field with our 6th-7th-8th hitters (all solid players) and a chance to win the championship in the bottom half. We'd come back from a 3 run deficit, and then again from a four run deficit. Now all we needed to do was scratch across ONE tally, and the trophy/money was OURS. FINALLY, it was OUR year in this league. Our lead off hitter smoked a line drive into the right field gap that I thought was at minimum a double, possibly even a triple. Then, out of nowhere (to our surprise/dismay) their right fielder makes a running/leaping catch robbing us of extra bases and probably the championship. Our next batter singled, but then we followed with two soft fly outs to end the inning. We were deflated.
In the ninth, their lead off hitter hit a sharp ground ball to our shortstop who made a nice play to field it, but rushed the throw and ended up over throwing the first baseman. This lead off error ended up scoring on a sacrifice fly and gave them the lead 8-7 heading into the bottom of the 9th. We had our 9th-10th-1st batters due up but they just couldn't get it done. We quietly went down 1-2-3 in the ninth, and The Mix celebrated with OUR trophy as we just watched from the dugout.
I know that it's just a stupid recreational softball league, and that the money would basically just cover our costs/uniforms/etc., but it still hurt losing this game. We were extremely confident coming in (having won seven games in a row, INCLUDING one against The Mix), and just couldn't imagine being held down for six of the nine innings offensively like we were (especially since we scored 22 runs the week before!) In yesterday's entry I mentioned that we were similar to the 2007 Colorado Rockies as we got off to a slow start, and then turned it on, running the gauntlet on the rest of the league and into the championship game...I had NO idea that we were running into the Red Sox.
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Fleeting Porch" by Drag the River. Good rock band out of Colorado. Drinks of Choice: MHL.
Peace the F.
Webby
We were the home team due to our higher seed in the tournament, so we took the field first. They scored three runs in the inning without hitting the ball square one time (I know that I probably sound like Hawk right now, but it's the truth). We walked two batters, made two errors, and they had two bloop hits that fell in between second base and the right fielder. Not a good way to start the ball game, but we were the best hitting team in that league during the regular season/playoffs so there was NO doubt in my mind that we would bounce right back with some runs of our own...and that's exactly what we did.
We answered right back with three runs in the bottom half of the first to tie the ball game back up (not to mention, we were actually hitting line drives all over the field compared to their duck snorts). All right. Back to zero-zero. When we took the field in the 2nd inning tied up, I just knew that we were going to start putting zeros on the board defensively, and guess what? They went scoreless for the next four straight innings. We were lock down in the field. Now, holding a team to four straight scoreless innings in a baseball game is good, but it's not that big of a deal. Holding a team scoreless for four straight innings in 16" softball, is pretty unheard of. Especially when you do it against the caliber of team that would be playing in a championship game.
So, I'm sure that you're thinking...How could you lose the ball game when you were tied at 3-3 and then held them scoreless for four straight innings? Well, I'll tell you how. They held US scoreless for four straight innings as well! We couldn't believe it. They made ZERO errors in the field, and made some spectacular plays too. Not to mention, we stopped hitting with runners in scoring position (not unlike your Chicago Cubs...I wasn't going to mention them today, but what can you do?), and had some base running blunders as well. We had a base runner get hit in the leg by a ground ball between 2nd and 3rd that cost us two runs, and I got thrown out at the plate trying to score from second on a single to left field. So there you have it. A championship game in a 16" softball league is tied at 3-3 heading into the top of the 6th of Seven innings.
All of a sudden, we completely imploded. Our infield (which had been making great plays all game long) started booting the ball around the field and our pitcher started walking their girls (I know that it sounds sexist, but anyone that's ever played co-ed 16" softball knows that a girl is an easy out 100% of the time. You CAN'T walk them). So they ended up breaking the 3-3 tie with a four run 6th inning, and seemingly blowing the game wide open in the process as we had just six outs left to work with.
In the bottom of the sixth, we loaded the bases with nobody out. We scored one run on an RBI ground out. Then I scored from third on a sacrifice fly cutting the lead to 7-5. That ended our scoring in that inning as we wasted a golden opportunity by only scoring two runs with the sacks packed and zero outs (White Sox style). We came back and shut them down 1-2-3 in the top of the 7th, and headed into the bottom of the inning needing two to tie, three to win. Our first batter ended up grounding out, but then the next two hitters reached base and we were able to tie the ball game on another RBI ground out sending this championship game into extras.
Again (for the sixth inning of this nine inning ball game) we shut them out in the 8th and took the field with our 6th-7th-8th hitters (all solid players) and a chance to win the championship in the bottom half. We'd come back from a 3 run deficit, and then again from a four run deficit. Now all we needed to do was scratch across ONE tally, and the trophy/money was OURS. FINALLY, it was OUR year in this league. Our lead off hitter smoked a line drive into the right field gap that I thought was at minimum a double, possibly even a triple. Then, out of nowhere (to our surprise/dismay) their right fielder makes a running/leaping catch robbing us of extra bases and probably the championship. Our next batter singled, but then we followed with two soft fly outs to end the inning. We were deflated.
In the ninth, their lead off hitter hit a sharp ground ball to our shortstop who made a nice play to field it, but rushed the throw and ended up over throwing the first baseman. This lead off error ended up scoring on a sacrifice fly and gave them the lead 8-7 heading into the bottom of the 9th. We had our 9th-10th-1st batters due up but they just couldn't get it done. We quietly went down 1-2-3 in the ninth, and The Mix celebrated with OUR trophy as we just watched from the dugout.
I know that it's just a stupid recreational softball league, and that the money would basically just cover our costs/uniforms/etc., but it still hurt losing this game. We were extremely confident coming in (having won seven games in a row, INCLUDING one against The Mix), and just couldn't imagine being held down for six of the nine innings offensively like we were (especially since we scored 22 runs the week before!) In yesterday's entry I mentioned that we were similar to the 2007 Colorado Rockies as we got off to a slow start, and then turned it on, running the gauntlet on the rest of the league and into the championship game...I had NO idea that we were running into the Red Sox.
Hit me up on facebook, www.myspace.com/theskyfall or in the comments section of this blog. Right now I'm listening to "Fleeting Porch" by Drag the River. Good rock band out of Colorado. Drinks of Choice: MHL.
Peace the F.
Webby
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
